Better Angels
by A Deed Without a Name
Summary: When a human child is born, an angel is assigned to their right shoulder and a demon to their left. They guide them through life, and the hope is that the angel will triumph over the demon. Most of the time. Unfortunately for Sam Winchester, his angel is Lucifer. WARNING: Contains an AU, unrelated Wincest, and a dating app
1. Chapter 1

Sam had never really gotten the point of dating apps, to be honest. No one represented themselves honestly, you had to pay to use some of them, and most people seemed to use it primarily to hook up, something he'd never been interested in. They were just a scaled-down version of dating sites, which were a natural progression from dating services, which had in turn descended from the village matchmaker. All tying back to the outdated idea that everybody needed a mate.

None of it was for Sam. Especially not with his...unique condition.

In his opinion, the worst one out there was Fluttr. He'd actually laughed out loud, without any real humor, the first time he'd seen an ad for it. An app that matched people based not only on their own personal traits, but on their angels, too. They couldn't have designed anything less suited for him if they'd tried

That was why he was so skeptical when Charlie came to him, pitching the idea of making a Fluttr account

"You're kidding, right?" he asked, raising an eyebrow. "I'm not gonna 'match' or 'click' or whatever it's called with anyone on there. They'll take one look at my profile, see my angel, and swipe left as hard as they possibly can." He reached for the soda sitting on his desk, next to his slice of cold pizza, and took a sip. Ruby had suggested he go for something harder when he bought it, but he'd ignored her. "Hell, I'm not sure they'd even let me make a profile with _his_ name in it." He gestured aggressively at his right shoulder with his free hand. "They'd think it was a bad joke. I'd probably have to get the FBI to send them that file they've got on me so they'd make an exception, and I just don't really feel like doing that."

"No, no, no, no." Charlie shook her head emphatically. "Fluttr's changed their entire setup. You don't have to put your angel's name in anymore."

"You know," Lucifer commented from Sam's right shoulder, "there are plenty of people out there who'd be _thrilled_ to be my bearer." Legs no bigger than fingers swung back and forth, tiny heels drumming out a rhythm on Sam's chest. It somehow brought to mind the insistent dripping of a leaky faucet at one in the morning, when everything else was dead quiet.

 _Nobody I'd wanna meet,_ Sam thought, pushing memories of bad experiences out of his mind. Out loud, he asked Charlie, "Doesn't that kill, like...their whole gimmick, though?"

"Well, I guess." Charlie shrugged. "But it's still the biggest dating app out there. Tons of settings. Preferences, area, interests, political beliefs, even. And I went into their databases to take a look at the guts - "

"My doing." Charlie's demon, Meg, spoke up, raising an index finger where she was sprawled on Charlie's left shoulder.

" - and their code's pretty decent," Charlie continued as if she hadn't been interrupted. "Good algorithm. _Very_ good security." She paused. "I mean, _I_ got in, but probably most other people couldn't."

"Okay," Sam said, "so I don't have to put my angel on there. But isn't the whole point of this thing that you eventually meet up in person? Doesn't matter if they liked my picture or enjoyed chatting with me. It's game over at the first date. _Everybody_ knows him." He pointed. "And even if, by some miracle, they don't recognize him, their angel definitely will."

"Fame's a blessing and a curse," Lucifer agreed sagely.

"C'mon," Meg complained to Charlie. "You tried, and he's too busy stewing in his own juices to listen. As usual. You only get one hour for lunch. Let's get out of here and go grab a cheesesteak at that place downtown you like."

Sam liked Meg, actually. Much more than he liked Ruby. Unfortunately trading - angels or demons - wasn't exactly an option.

"No," Charlie's angel countered, glaring at Meg around her neck. She was also a redhead, and Charlie had introduced her as Anna a couple years ago. Sam didn't know if that was short for anything or not. "Give him the rest of the argument we came up with. _Then_ go get a salad from the building's cafeteria. Where we get a discount."

"Yeah, gonna go with Anna on this one." Charlie grabbed a cardboard carton full of legal books, just delivered that morning from the library, dragged it over in front of Sam, and took a seat. "I've known you for a couple years now."

"She only sticks around because she feels sorry for you," Ruby said.

"Oh, absolutely not!" scolded Lucifer. "She only sticks around because she thinks you're - or really, _I'm_ \- interesting."

"That's not true," Charlie stated. She was the only one at the firm, or in the entire building, who talked to Sam even when she hadn't exhausted all her other options, though. Granted, his novelty seemed to have worn off. Nobody called the police when he walked into the building anymore, or any of the buildings surrounding it. There hadn't been a complaint about his presence to HR in months, or a threat to get the senior partner who'd hired him canned. But he could still tell that no one besides Charlie liked him working there. "Anyway. I've known you for a couple years now, and in that whole time, your schedule hasn't changed. You work. You bring your lunch from home and eat in your office. You go to school. You go straight home to your apartment, and then you just stay there. I know you told me you run, but other than that, you don't go out. You don't even drink!"

"Not that _you_ see," Ruby said, a smirk clear in her voice. Sam and Charlie both ignored her.

"Yeah," Sam agreed, "my life's pathetic. Not sure what other choice I have, though." He heard Lucifer suck in an eager breath, and hurried to talk over him. "What's your point?"

"Don't you want something more out of life?" Charlie pressed him. "Wouldn't it be nice to meet someone? Even if it doesn't last. I think you're missing out on a lot by just assuming that everyone is gonna be put off by the fact that your angel's...well..."

"The Devil?" Sam supplied.

"Satan." Lucifer jumped in helpfully. "The Adversary. The Father of Lies. The Beast. The Prince of Darkness. The Morning Star. The Deceiver. The Serpent. The - "

"Shut up," Sam snapped, turning to glare at him. He actually obeyed, which was a minor miracle. To Charlie, he very skeptically asked, "You really think there's anyone out there who's not gonna be afraid of him?"

"I'm not," Charlie pointed out proudly.

"You should be," Meg told her.

"You reached out and pushed past all your misgivings, which is great," Anna began encouragingly. "But I do still agree with Meg on this one."

"Told you," Sam said to Charlie, raising both eyebrows. "If they don't decide to cut and run on their own as soon as they get one look at me, their angel will tell them to. And everyone's supposed to listen to their angel, aren't they? That's what they teach us in school."

A snort from his right shoulder. "Guess you must've missed that day."

"Sam." Charlie put her elbows on her knees and steepled her fingers in front of her face. "If you let me help you make a Fluttr account, then I will owe you one whole favor." Her angel and demon immediately weighed in on that, Anna against it and Meg all for it, but she just kept talking as soon as they were done. "Anything you want. No limits, and redeemable at any time."

That gave Sam pause, and he sat back in his desk chair, thinking. Charlie was the firm's IT specialist. So much of what they did was computerized now that she was always in high demand, and it'd be great to have her come directly to his office the next time he had a problem. Which would be the most boring way possible to cash in on the favor she was offering. Beyond that, she was an insanely talented hacker and had a gift for coding, far surpassing Sam's own modest skills.

"Take it," Ruby advised.

"You know how I feel about demons, but I agree with her," Lucifer said. "Take the offer. This way, not only have you got a chance of finally meeting someone who'll appreciate me, but you can also sneak a peek at all the dirt the FBI's got on the two of us." There was a rustling of feathers as he shrugged. "Or any other fine, upstanding law enforcement agency in the entire world. Everyone's always so _interested_ in my bearer, especially these days."

"I can do that," Charlie agreed. "If you really want me to."

"Probably not," Sam said. He didn't want to draw any more attention to himself than necessary. As soon as he'd said it, though, teeth the size of grains of sand sank into his earlobe. It was just a nip, and barely even hurt (especially considering his right earlobe was mostly scar tissue by now), but Sam grunted softly and reached for the squirt bottle on the edge of his desk anyway. Lucifer let go as soon as he picked it up, the liquid sloshing inside thicker than water. "Yeah, I thought so."

"Squirt him anyway," Ruby urged. Lucifer spat, probably misting the side of Sam's neck with the tiniest amount of blood.

"Don't make me come over there," he warned, and Sam felt Ruby shrink towards the far side of his left shoulder.

"I'm sorry!" she squeaked. "It's my job!"

"Fine," Sam told Charlie before things could escalate any further. "Make me a Fluttr account. I _will_ be calling in that favor eventually, though."

"Yes!" Charlie pumped her fist enthusiastically, then held her hand out. "All right, give me your phone."

Reluctantly, Sam handed it over. It wasn't locked, so Charlie immediately woke it up and started tapping expertly on the screen.

"Ugh, why d'you have so little memory left on here?" she complained. "Oh. Your storage is full of books. You know you can just put those in the cloud, right?" Before Sam could reply, she swiped at something. "There we go. That freed up some space. Now let me just..." She trailed off then, after a couple of taps, gave Sam a wide smile. "There we go! Fluttr's officially installed. Now we make an account." She returned her attention to the phone. "Name: Sam Winchester. Age: Twenty-five. Job: Paralegal, going to law school."

"Are you actually gonna let me fill any of this out?" Sam asked. Lucifer whispered something about slamming Charlie's head against the corner of his desk and taking his phone back, but Sam tuned him out.

"In a minute," Charlie replied, then said, "Preference." She paused before looking up at Sam again. "Well, you've got one of each, but your angel is male, so..."

"Yeah," Sam agreed. "Just put guys." He didn't plan on spending any more time on this stupid app than he absolutely had to, but when he did go in, he didn't want to be overwhelmed. He expected men seeking men to be a relatively small pool, even in Palo Alto.

"Right." Charlie tapped, then scrolled. "Okay, sections for info about your angel and your demon, but those are optional, so I'm just gonna disable them...ooh! Picture!" She pressed something, then lifted Sam's phone so the back was aimed at him. The little light next to the camera was on. "Okay, smile!"

"What?" Sam blinked, automatically leaning back in his chair even though he knew that wouldn't get him out of the shot. "You're gonna take one now?"

"Of course!" Charlie chirped. "You look fine." Both Anna and Meg moved to whisper into her ears, and she frowned a little, lowering the phone. "I mean, besides those bags under your eyes. Has he been keeping you up again?"

"It's not like it's my fault," Lucifer complained. "If he just did what I tell him to, I wouldn't have to bother him about it all night."

"I'll take a picture myself later," Sam told Charlie. "The light's no good in here, anyway. There's no windows."

"I don't believe you," Charlie stated. "And I've been to your apartment, remember? The light's no good in there, either." She raised the phone again. "Plus, here, you're in your natural environment. At your desk, surrounded by law books. So just _smile_."

Sam sighed, figuring he could always go in and upload a better picture later. He settled himself comfortably in his chair, forced a smile onto his face, and watched Charlie line up the shot. Right before she tapped the screen to take a picture, something occurred to him. "Wait - " He reached up and snatched Lucifer off his shoulder. The angel squawked indignantly, then immediately chomped into Sam's finger. Sam ignored that, along with Ruby's gasp, and the way Lucifer's feathers were pricking his palm. The slender bones in his wings shifted as Sam squeezed him tightly enough to keep him from escaping, but he knew it'd take a lot more than that to hurt him. He held him out of the frame. "Okay. Go."

Charlie snapped a picture, then held the phone out towards Sam for his inspection. He guessed it was okay. He looked awkward, but at least his hair was nice. Ruby had both hands over her mouth and was staring down at Lucifer, who wasn't visible, but hopefully people would be focusing on Sam and not her. With his approval, Charlie uploaded the photo, and he let go of Lucifer, who flapped back up to his shoulder. Sam looked at him as he huffed loudly, shook his wings out (dislodging a blizzard of tiny feathers), then began preening himself with exaggerated movements.

"You're _such_ a douchebag, Sam," he accused. "I wasn't even gonna do anything. D'you have any idea how long it's gonna take me to fix my wings?"

"Why bother?" Sam replied. "They're gonna look terrible no matter what you do."

Lucifer raised his eyes from his wings, glaring at him. "Low blow," he stated. "You want me to start picking on that ridiculous mane of yours? 'Cause I've got years' worth of material there, just lined up and ready to go."

"So," Charlie interjected, handing Sam's phone back to him, "all that's left are your interests and your bio, and I figure you can handle those on your own. I've gotta go get something to eat." She pushed herself up off the box and turned to leave his office, but then suddenly whirled around and jabbed an index finger at him. Anna and Meg both grabbed onto her hair to keep from losing their balance. "Promise me you're actually gonna use the app."

"The deal was only to make an account," Ruby pointed out. "She didn't say anything about using it. You don't have to."

"What? No!" Lucifer looked up sharply from his wings again. "You've gotta use it! It'll be so much fun!"

"Fine," Sam told Charlie. "I promise I'll use it, though I doubt I'll wind up going on any actual dates."

"All I ask is that you give it a try," Charlie replied, raising both hands and backing off. "But I'm gonna check with you this weekend to see how it's going."

"Great," Sam said as unenthusiastically as he could manage. Charlie gave him a thumbs-up and a smile, then left, closing his door behind her.

"Finish filling out your profile," Lucifer said immediately. "Do it now."

"No, wait out your lunch first," Ruby argued. " _Then_ finish filling out your profile. Make the firm pay you to play on your phone."

"I think I'd actually rather get paid to look up precedents for this assault case we're working on," Sam replied, putting his phone to sleep and setting it aside for the moment. "Y'know. My job?"

Ruby scoffed and Lucifer snorted. Sam ignored them both as he faced his desk again and pulled his pizza towards himself, hoping he could finish it in the few minutes he had left on his break. Before he could even pick it up, though, there was a rustle from his right shoulder, and a miniature flurry of blackened, damaged feathers drifted down, blanketing the veggies and cheese like the world's nastiest replacement for Parmesan.

"Oops," Lucifer said, sounding smug as Sam stared down at the plate in dismay.

He wanted to ask how Lucifer even had that many feathers left to shed, but instead, he just shook his head and slid the pizza into the wastebasket next to his desk. Then he reached for his noise-cancelling headphones, sitting beside his computer and taken off when Charlie entered.

Might as well get back to work early. It was a Friday, anyway.


	2. Chapter 2

**Special thanks to my editors! (Forgot to give them the recognition they deserve in the first chapter.)**

To be entirely honest, Sam forgot about the Fluttr thing until Sunday afternoon. His grocery shopping was done, his apartment was clean, and his laundry was folded and put away (no thanks to Ruby or Lucifer, who'd wanted him to get drunk and torch a gas station where the clerk had once been rude to him, respectively), so he was sprawled out on the couch, a couple beers in and watching Netflix. He grunted when his phone began to buzz against the coffee table.

"Ignore it," Ruby said. She was on the back of the couch with Lucifer, a safe distance away from him. Last Sam'd checked, she'd had her limbs folded underneath her and her tail lazily sweeping back and forth. Like a cat.

"Answer it," Lucifer said. "And if it's your boss again, tell him you're gonna start cutting an inch off his tongue for every time he bothers you outside of work."

Sam paused _Altered Carbon_ and picked up his phone. Charlie. He answered with a yawn, then mumbled, "I'm not going LARPing with you. It's a work night. And I'm pretty sure I'm still banned from your D and D group after what Lucifer did to their figures."

Sam heard Charlie snort. "I'm just gonna stop asking you to do anything - you're always such a stick in the mud," she said. "And this isn't about any of that. Since I'm gonna give you the benefit of the doubt and assume you just didn't get my seven texts, I'm calling to ask how you're doing on Fluttr."

"Oh. Right." Sam squeezed his eyes shut and rubbed the bridge of his nose with his free hand. "Sorry. Haven't checked my phone lately."

Charlie sighed with exasperation. "Did you even complete your profile?"

"I did!" Indignant, Sam sat up. Ruby and Lucifer immediately hopped onto his shoulders. "At the bus station, after work Friday. Right after you bugged me about it as I was leaving." He could feel Lucifer leaning towards his ear with a suggestion, and irritatedly brushed him off his shoulder. "I muted the notifications from it, but I'll go in and check now if it'd make you happy."

"It really would."

"Okay. I'm doing it right now. See you tomorrow." Sam hung up.

"Don't open the app," Ruby advised. "Just lie to her. Say it was a waste of time."

"I'll do you one better," Lucifer said, hovering directly in front of Sam's face. His wings buzzed like a hummingbird's, the whine they created almost instantly flipping the headache switch in Sam's brain. "Kill her. I mean, oh my _Dad_ , is she ever obnoxious. You need to kill her, Sammy-boy. C'mon, you deserve this. And I even know exactly how you can do it without getting caught. Wanna hear?"

"Just - fuck off, okay?" Sam waved Lucifer away, then opened the Fluttr app. He was shocked by how many guys in his area it'd found for him to look at. Reluctantly, he began to sort through their profiles.

"Y'know, it's really too bad you've only got it set to dudes," Lucifer commented, landing on his shoulder again. "Just generally speaking, women tend to be easier to overpower. If you ever want to."

Sam didn't even react to that. Lucifer huffed and folded his wings.

He and Ruby both offered plenty of extremely-unhelpful advice while Sam was looking at other men's profiles. He ignored all of it. Most of them, he swiped left immediately. Some, he read their bios and interests before rejecting them. On a tentative few, he swiped right, but nothing happened, so they must've swiped left. He wondered if they'd been put off by the fact he didn't have a visible angel in his picture. Most other people had put theirs front and center.

He paused on one guy for an especially long time. Dean Singer, twenty-eight, only a few miles away. He was a mechanic, and he liked cooking and music. And his picture was, to put it simply, gorgeous. Thick dirty-blonde hair styled up, a nice layer of dark stubble on a rock-solid jaw, barely-visible freckles sprinkled across his nose and forehead. His eyes were a dark shade of green that made Sam think of sea glass. And his mouth...

Lucifer whistled appreciatively. "Oh, wow, would you just look at those lips." He leaned towards Sam's ear. "Imagine biting them off."

"Jesus," Sam stated, turning his head to glare at Lucifer. He was in rare form tonight. "What is _with_ you? I'm this close to getting the oil."

Lucifer made a face like he'd just bitten into a lemon, but shut up. Right as Sam was returning his attention to his phone, Ruby said, "Just swipe left. He's way too pretty for you."

Sam sighed, scrolling down Dean Singer's profile. His picture was a closeup of his face, so neither his angel nor his demon were visible, but he'd filled out their sections, complete with photos. Both male. His angel - Castiel - had beautiful wings, iridescent black, and an ice-blue halo. His demon - Crowley - seemed to be of the crossroads variety, horns and tail a rich red with black at the base.

Sam didn't think he had much to lose. He sucked in as deep a breath as he could manage, then swiped right.

Immediately, his phone buzzed, and he flinched and dropped it. A pastel blue background popped up, accompanied by drifting feathers and a message in flowing script: _Congratulations, it's a match made in Heaven!_ Sam rolled his eyes, picking his phone back up and tapping the screen to try and make it go away.

"That was a mistake," Ruby predicted as Sam was transferred directly into Fluttr's messaging feature.

 _Dean: Hey there. So your names Sam?_

"Just ignore it," Ruby said.

"No...reply," Lucifer advised. "With a dick pic." Sam felt him sit down on his shoulder. "Wait, save the dick pic. First tell him you're looking for something with no strings attached. One-night stand, in a secluded location. _Then_ send the dick pic."

"Yeah," Sam said. "No."

 _Sam: Yeah. And you're Dean?_

 _Dean: Yeah probably shouldnt have opened with that question. Sorry_

 _Sam: Hey, gotta start somewhere. You're a mechanic? That's pretty cool._

 _Dean: Yeah. I like the work alot but Im thinkin Im gonna take that off my profile. I keep getting people who think me fixing their car for free is a good first date_

 _Sam: Well, you're in luck. I don't even have a car._

"You _could_ ," Lucifer said. "A nice one, too. You know how to hotwire, and I even keep pointing them out for you."

 _Dean: If you did what kind would you want?_

 _Sam: I don't know. I don't really know a lot about cars. A Tesla maybe?_

 _Dean: Seriously?_

 _Sam: Well what kind do YOU have?_

 _Dean: [image attached]_

"Open it." Ruby.

"Ooh, yeah, of course." Lucifer. "Open it. I'm curious to see what this guy's packing."

Hesitantly, Sam did, then relaxed when it was actually a car. An older model, maybe from the sixties or seventies, but one that'd been lovingly maintained. It was a glossy black, boxy but sleek.

"That's disappointing," Lucifer said.

 _Sam: Okay that's a pretty car._

 _Dean: Thanks! 67 chevy impala. Shes still got most of her original parts and she runs smooth as the day she came off the assembly line_

Sam chuckled softly to himself, smiling. This guy's passion was cute, even if it was for something Sam wasn't really interested in. Cars were better than a lot of other things.

 _Dean: Guess you dont need to know too much about my baby. I saw youre a lawyer on your profile_

 _Sam: You can talk about your car if you want. I mean you're a mechanic, so you must be doing something you love. That's cool. I'm not a lawyer yet, just in school right now, but hopefully in a few years._

 _Dean: You must be super smart. I cant imagine going to school that long_

 _Sam: It's been kind of tough. I'm working too, so I don't have to take out too many loans._

 _Dean: What do you want to do? Gonna be one of those guys with all the commercials?_

 _Sam: If you or a loved one has been diagnosed with mesothelioma..._

 _Sam: I'm kidding. You don't always get to choose but I'd really like to do something with civil rights._

 _Dean: Like what?_

Sam almost started typing again, then paused, having second thoughts about sharing something so personal. Ruby and Lucifer, of course, picked up on his doubt immediately.

"It's stupid," Ruby said. "You know it's stupid, and he'll figure out it's stupid, too. There's just no demand." She began petting his hair sympathetically. "Put the phone down and go get yourself something else to drink. The liquor store's still open and you haven't had whiskey in a long time."

"Now," Lucifer declared, "would be an excellent time for a dick pic. Or threats about what we'll do to him if he doesn't put out. Or both...mix and match, Sammy, that's always fun."

 _We're just texting,_ Sam told himself. _I'm probably never gonna meet him face-to-face, and I haven't told anybody about what I wanna do besides...them. Not even Charlie._

 _What's the worst that could happen? I'll live._

Before he could change his mind, Sam began typing, then hit "send" as soon as he was finished.

 _Sam: I want to do angel and demon discrimination cases. If somebody gets fired or turned down for housing or a job or a school cause of their angel or demon. There are laws against it but I don't think anyone knows or cares._

 _Dean: Dude thats awesome!_

Sam blinked. Then typed out a quick response before Ruby could convince him Dean was lying.

 _Sam: Really?_

 _Dean: Yeah I think it actually happens all the time but nobody ever does anything about it_

 _Dean: I mean look at me. Ive got a seraph and a crossroads demon_

 _Dean: My whole life people assumed I was either going to wind up in the army or grifting_

 _Dean: Doesnt help my demons some big hotshot down in hell. Other crossroads demons recognize him at least_

 _Dean: Only reason Ive got the job I do now is cause my dad knows the owner of the shop. He called and vouched for me_

 _Dean: Whoops. That sounds bad doesnt it?_

 _Sam: Not if that's the only thing that would work. It's not like it's your fault people make assumptions. I think I'm only where I am because I got lucky._

Sam hadn't even been able to tell that Castiel was a seraph; he wasn't great with angel castes and Lucifer was never any help.

 _Dean: What do people think about you? Based on your shoulder pets_

 _Sam: Nothing good._

 _Dean: Yeah I figured youd have firsthand experience with this_

"He's going to press for details," Ruby predicted. "When he does, lie to him. Say you've got a seraph, too. Or a Grigori. Anything but an archangel."

"Oh, c'mon," Lucifer complained loudly. "That's a terrible idea. You need to be honest." Sam was mildly shocked that he seemed to be giving real, typically-angelic device, but the other shoe dropped almost immediately. "Send him a dick pic with me in it."

"Why the obsession with dick pics?" Sam demanded, throwing an exasperated hand up into the air. "I'm honestly curious."

"I invented the whole thing."

"Not even surprised," Sam muttered, turning his attention back to his phone. Dean had sent another message, and much to his relief, he hadn't pushed for the names or breeds of Sam's "shoulder pets."

 _Dean: Do you want to tell me more about this plan of yours? All the laws and everything I mean_

Sam smiled, the expression small but genuine.

"It won't last," Ruby warned him. He laid down on the couch again, forcing her and Lucifer to abandon ship, and gave his phone his full attention as they both started spouting dire predictions.

 _Sam: Only if you tell me more about your car._


	3. Chapter 3

"You matched already?" Charlie's voice was incredulous. Even Anna and Meg's tiny faces mirrored her shock.

Sam snorted. "Glad you had so much faith in me," he said dryly. His arms were folded across his chest as he scanned the coffee shop's menu boards.

"Vanilla-caramel cappuccino," Ruby instructed him. "Two shots of chocolate syrup, double whipped cream. And make it Irish when you get to your office."

"That sounds disgusting," Meg stated flatly.

"He'd like it," Ruby shot back.

"I guess I just expected you to be a little pickier," Charlie admitted, continuing their conversation around the one their demons were having. The line moved forward. "Or to just...give up."

"Be offended," Ruby advised, dropping the cappuccino issue.

"I said I'd try it, didn't I?" Sam told Charlie, annoyed. "I don't break promises. And I honestly wasn't expecting to match with anybody, but I did, and he actually seems pretty decent. I just talked to him this morning."

"You're still talking?" Charlie looked surprised all over again.

"Sometimes I _can_ carry on a real conversation," Sam said.

"He's being bitchy," Meg announced. "Make him pay for your coffee."

"You know I didn't mean it like that." Charlie was looking a little exasperated. Sam'd better dial back the attitude. "But I've used Fluttr, and so've most of my friends. It's just the thing to do these days, y'know? So I know it usually takes a while to match, and then you don't talk long afterwards. You either figure out you're not compatible or you hammer out plans to hook up."

"He hasn't even mentioned that," Sam said. "Neither have I."

"What have you guys even been talking about, then?" The line moved again. It was almost their turn.

"I don't know..." Uncomfortable, Sam shrugged. Ruby and Lucifer grabbed onto his hair to keep from falling. "School. Work. Cars."

"Cars?" Charlie sounded confused.

"He's a mechanic," Sam offered by way of explanation.

"Bet that pays well around here, with all the luxury cars." They'd reached the counter. "Hi! Can I have a vanilla chai latte? Medium, please."

"Yeah, he says it does." Sam smiled hesitantly at the barista, hoping Lucifer wasn't doing anything offensive. "Small red eye and a honey-oat muffin, please."

"Red eye, huh? So you were up late chatting with this guy," Charlie deduced as they snagged a table to wait on their orders. "This _Dean_."

"Oh, he was up late," Lucifer agreed, "but, really, it was equal parts me and Dean." Sam could practically hear him rolling his eyes. "Sambo never wants to check out Palo Alto after dark."

"Ignore him," Anna advised Charlie. She obeyed.

"So tell me honestly, Sam." Charlie folded her arms on the table and leaned on them, studying Sam with intense hazel eyes. Her hair was in a ponytail today, pulled back from her face. "D'you like this guy?"

"He seems okay," Sam said.

 _"Seems,"_ Ruby emphasized. Lucifer, on the other hand, scoffed loudly and said, "Right, 'seems nice.' Let me tell you, our boy here's head over heels. Completely flipped. I haven't seen him so smitten since his sophomore year. Hey, remember her? What was her name again?" He tugged Sam's earlobe. "Jess? Wow, was that ever fun. Remember, Sam?"

Sam swallowed. Charlie's eyes flicked to his right shoulder, then back to his face. "So I'm assuming you haven't told him about your angel?"

"Nope," Sam replied. Their names were called, and they stood up. "And I'm not going to."

"Uhh..." Charlie turned to raise an eyebrow at him as they made their way through the crowded lobby of their building, coffees in hand. "I think you're gonna have to, Sam. What happens when he wants to meet?"

"I'm not gonna meet with him," Sam replied. "I mean, I can't."

"Of course you can!" They reached the elevator. A couple of people who were about to get on saw Sam and apparently changed their minds, heading for the stairs instead. Charlie hit the button for the floor their law office was on. Both Meg and Anna were whispering animatedly into her ears. "Sam - you matched with this guy. You spent all night messaging back and forth with him. You even talked about cars with him, and I know you're not into cars. Even if he's somehow content to be your internet boyfriend, which I doubt...jeez. This is worth investing in, don't you think?"

"I don't know," Sam said, avoiding eye contact.

"Definitely not," Ruby told him.

"Yes, it is!" Lucifer said. "At the very least, imagine all the money and stuff you could milk him for."

"You need to think about this," Charlie said seriously. The elevator hummed along. "And I mean _really_ think about it. What you're so afraid of, what the worst thing that could happen is, what you stand to gain." The doors opened, and she stepped out. "If you're really determined to be miserable for the rest of your life, and literally, like - _cloister_ yourself because of the angel you wound up with, then I guess that's fine. But for the record, I do think you deserve better." She turned towards her office. "See you at lunch."

She went one way and Sam went another. Before they were out of range, he heard Meg talking to her: "This really wasn't ever your problem to begin with. You don't owe him anything and he's obviously got some kind of martyr complex - just leave it alone."

Lucifer sighed dramatically. "Should've killed her last night, like I said to."

Sam was just opening the door to his office when his phone buzzed in his pocket. He walked in, set his coffee and muffin down on his desk, and pulled it out, expecting a text from Charlie. It was a Fluttr notification, though. Dean had sent him a new message.

 _Dean: Did I tell you I like your hair?_

Sam reached up and dragged the fingers of his free hand through that hair. Should he respond? He was on the clock, technically. And the conversation he'd just had with Charlie had soured him on this whole thing.

"Ghost him," Ruby urged even as Sam found himself tapping out a reply anyway.

 _Sam: Aren't you at work?_

 _Dean: Yeah but I took my break early cause I thought of something I needed to tell you_

 _Sam: So tell me._

If he noticed Sam's curtness, Dean didn't say anything about it.

 _Dean: Weve been talking for awhile now so I assume youre interested but I figured Id get it out there anyway_

 _Dean: Ive done the whole chat-only thing and its not really for me_

 _Dean: Looking to meet in person and do something fun. I like talking to you but Id like to spend real time with you too_

 _Dean: Dont wanna be creepy or anything. If you want something different thats totally fine dude and I guess Id be okay to keep talking to you either way. But I thought I should tell you what Im looking for before we got further_

"Aww," Lucifer cooed. "A true romantic."

"That's a red flag," Ruby stated. Sam twisted his head to the side to look at her, raising an eyebrow.

"Why?" he asked. "He's just telling me he...wants to spend time with me. In person. I'd pretty much figured that out already."

"He's possessive," she said. "And entitled. He's got a crossroads demon. The head crossroads demon, even. I recognize him. He's going to think he owns you, and that you owe him for even talking to you."

Sam just shook his head as he sat down at his desk. "You're grasping at straws." Which meant there wasn't anything real about Dean for Ruby to latch onto, to use to warn him away and undermine his confidence.

He set his phone down next to his coffee and took a second to take off and empty his backpack. Lunch, laptop, notes about the case. He got his workstation set up and organized for the day, which took him around fifteen minutes. When he picked his phone up again, there were no new messages, not even a "You there?" He took that to mean Dean was patiently waiting for him to respond. He did, tuning out Lucifer's suggestions and Ruby's objections.

 _Sam: You're right, I'm interested. I'd actually like to give you my number._

He sent a message with his cell phone number, wondering, in the back of his mind, just what the hell he was doing.

"You're gonna regret that," Ruby predicted.

"Sorry," Sam replied, reaching for his headphones. "Headphones are going on. Neither of you get to talk to me for the next four hours."

He got to work. As he'd told Dean when he asked him what his job entailed last night, it was mostly reading, googling, and taking notes for the report he'd wind up writing. He put his phone back in his pocket so he'd be able to feel it if it vibrated, but Dean didn't text or message him right away. He probably couldn't mess with his phone while he was working on cars and had to wait until he got another break. That was what Sam chose to believe, even though Ruby tapping insistently on the left ear cup of his headphones let him know that she had a very different opinion.

Sam's phone actually didn't buzz again until around noon. By that time, he'd gotten so deep into his work he'd practically forgotten all about Dean and Fluttr and Charlie and the whole mess. He jumped a little, put down the transcript of a recent assault trial he'd been reading, and dug his phone out.

 _Hey, I'm getting In-N-Out for lunch. You want anything?_ Charlie asked.

Sam sighed some, reaching up and pulling his headphones down around his neck. Lucifer seized the opportunity.

"Offer to get her some lunch. Then you can put whatever you want in it. Drain cleaner, fiberglass..."

 _Thanks, but I brought a salad,_ Sam told Charlie. _I could come to your office or you could come to mine again._

"No, don't make up!" Ruby protested. "You're so good at holding grudges!"

Sam's phone buzzed again. Quick response, that was a good sign. The text wasn't from Charlie, though. It was from a number he didn't recognize with a local area code.

 _Hey Sam its Dean. Really hope Im not bothering you._

Something clenched in Sam's stomach, but oddly enough, it felt kind of good. So did the icy spurt of adrenaline that came with it. It'd been a while since he'd been this excited about anything.

 _Come on man, I gave you my number for a reason. You're not bothering me,_ Sam assured Dean. _How's it going?_

 _Great. On lunch right now_ , Dean replied. _Bacon cheeseburgers._

 _Gross._

 _Well what are you eating?_ Dean wanted to know.

 _Caesar salad._

 _Now thats gross. Rabbit food._

 _At least I'm not going to have a heart attack in my forties,_ Sam pointed out. Right before he sent it, he added a _:)_ at the end.

 _Whatever,_ Dean said. A second later, he added, _Hey so. You like salad?_

 _Yeah, of course._

 _I know a place in Menlo Park with great salads,_ Dean said. _Good steak too so thered be something for both of us. Id really like to grab dinner with you._

And there it was. Sam sucked his lower lip into his mouth, chewing on it.

 _I can't tonight,_ he texted.

 _Lol no course not,_ Dean replied. _I was thinking Friday or Saturday._

 _I don't know. Kind of short on funds right now. Student and all._

 _Its not too bad price wise. Or I could pay._ Dean added, _We could do something else. Dinners just the first thing that popped into my head._

 _I like you._ If it was possible to blurt something out in text form, Sam'd just done it. _I like you alot._

 _I like you too._ A moment later, a _:)_ popped up.

 _I don't think_ Sam typed out that much, hesitated, then finished the rest and hit send, despite Ruby urging him to ghost Dean again. _I don't think you'd like me anymore if you met me._

 _I've got a real hard time believing that._

 _You don't understand. I've got a condition._

Lucifer scoffed. "That's got to be the most offensive way you've ever referred to me."

There was silence from Dean for a while. Ruby decided that Sam had succeeded in scaring him off, and he was about to put his phone away when it buzzed again.

 _I don't care,_ Dean said. _I'm not shallow. At least I think I'm not. I still want to meet you._

He followed that message up with another one almost immediately: _I get it if your just not comfortable. Thats ok._

And a third: _But Id really like to take you out._

Sam fidgeted, hands twitching on his phone as he tried to decide whether or not to respond, and what to say if he did. Dean texted him one more time before he could make up his mind.

 _Take as long as you need to get back to me. I know your at work too._

Sam looked up from his phone and, almost instinctively, looked at his shoulders. Right then left.

"What are you doing?" Ruby wanted to know, glossy black tail lashing. "You've already made it clear you're not gonna listen to either of us on this."

"And after all the great advice we gave you, too," Lucifer complained, fluffing his wings up self-righteously.

Sam nearly gave himself a headache trying not to roll his eyes. Charlie texted him back shortly after that; she wanted to eat outside. In the park across the street from their building. Sam grabbed his lunch and headed over. Charlie was at a table in the shaded pavilion area, and she looked up at him and smiled tentatively as he approached.

"He wants to meet," Sam announced, dropping his salad on the rubberized mesh of the table. "What should I do?"

"I told you he'd be back," Anna said to Charlie. "I told you he needed your help."

"You were right." Charlie reached up to scratch in between Anna's coppery wings. The angel purred. To Sam, she said, "If I give you advice, are you actually gonna take it?"

"Yes," Sam said. Maybe he shouldn't have promised that right off the bat, but whatever. "I'm sorry."

"It's okay," Charlie told him. "I know you've been having a tough time lately." They both tactfully ignored that "lately" was code for "your entire life." "So." She pulled a burger out of the bag in front of her. "When and where does he want to meet you?"

"Friday," Sam said with a sigh. "At a restaurant."

"He was pushy." Ruby jumped in.

"He was _not_. He really wants to meet face-to-face, but he said we could do whatever I wanted." Sam sat down across from Charlie. "He's willing to wait, too."

"I've got more experience with online communications," Charlie declared. "I'll be the judge of whether he's a creep or not." She'd been adjusting the wrapper on her burger, but now she set it aside and held her hand out. "Phone, please."

Sam handed it over. He'd left his texting app open, so the conversation with Dean was right there in its full glory. Charlie's eyebrows rose.

"Ooh, you gave him your number," she said approvingly. "And you haven't saved him into your contacts yet. I'll go ahead and do that for you in a minute. Has he called you?"

"No."

"That's good. Sounds like he's respecting your space." Charlie scrolled some, eyes darting back and forth as she read, then nodded. "So far, so good. He seems nice; might be starting to get a little frustrated with you, which is understandable." She gave Sam a wry look. "I'm just gonna save his info."

Sam let her, folding his arms on the table and leaning on them. He didn't realize that Meg had been whispering into her ear for the past minute or so until Lucifer commented, "She's sure tapping a lot for just making a new contact."

"Hey!" Sam reached across the table and yanked his phone out of Charlie's hands. Too late, going by the smirk she was struggling to contain. "What the hell'd you do?"

"You a favor," Charlie replied. Sam looked at his phone. She'd sent Dean a text (with good spelling and punctuation, so it really did look like it'd come from Sam himself) saying he wanted to go to the restaurant with him this Friday, any time after six. She'd even asked for the address. "I knew you weren't gonna do it on your own."

"That wasn't the right thing to do," Anna stated.

"Serves the greater good, though," Meg pointed out.

"I can't believe you did this!" Sam exclaimed, more shocked than angry, as Ruby suggested a meltdown into one ear and Lucifer whispered murder plots into the other. "What d'you expect me to do?!"

"Get out of your comfort zone," Charlie urged. "You and me both know you needed a push, Sam, and I just went ahead and gave you one. I _expect_ you to meet Dean, go on a date with him, and at least have a decent Friday night. And if he freaks out over Lucifer..." She shrugged. "Then I guess he wasn't as nice as we both thought."

"How do I delete a text?" Sam tapped the message insistently to try and bring up an options menu or something.

"You don't. Not once it's sent."

"Goddammit!" Sam tossed his phone down. It clattered against the table, and he glared at Charlie. "I really wish you hadn't done that."

"You're gonna wind up thanking me," Charlie replied, not sounding very bothered. She took a bite of her burger, then spoke through a full mouth. "Please don't go pout in your office again."

"I don't _pout_." Sam popped the lid off the Tupperware container his salad was in, stabbing a chunk of cucumber with his fork. He did his best not to be sulky in the way he did it.

"Well, you've got the whole week to figure out what you wanna do," Charlie said with a shrug. "We can always talk about it more later."

"Look - I don't wanna talk about it," Sam said, spreading his hands. The fork was still in one. The cucumber went flying off into the park. "I don't even wanna go on this date."

"So text Dean again," Charlie said reasonably. "Tell him you changed your mind and you actually don't wanna see him. Then don't talk to him anymore." She took a bite of her burger. "It's not fair to string him along when he clearly wants something more than just an online relationship."

Sam stayed quiet, staring down at his salad as he poked around in it. He could feel Charlie smirking at him.

"I'm not even gonna say anything," she said. He heard her digging around in her bag, then she passed a box across the table. "Fries?"

"Take the fries," Ruby ordered.

With a sigh, Sam grabbed a handful.


	4. Chapter 4

It was agony waiting for Friday and, at the same time, it seemed to come way too fast. Dean texted Sam back Monday evening with the address and a firm time (7:30). He seemed excited, and told him again he didn't have to come unless he really wanted to. Sam would never admit it, but...part of him was glad Charlie had sent that text.

Ruby kept urging him to back out. Lucifer kept pushing for roofies, a tirejack to the back of the head, zipties, and an apartment covered in plastic sheeting. Sam wore his headphones even more than usual and talked exclusively to Charlie - and Dean.

Sam had a tough time carrying on a conversation. Lucifer loved to interrupt. He couldn't really do that with texting, though, and Dean was just so easy to talk to. He and Sam really didn't have much in common, as far as hobbies and careers and even taste in music, but that didn't seem to matter much. Sam could text him for hours about discrimination law and a person's relationship with their angel and demon and feel like he was interested the entire time. It was fun chatting with him about cars and classic rock and food, too, just because he was so enthusiastic and it came through even over the phone.

Sam definitely wasn't calm when Friday night came. But at least he'd started feeling hopeful, like at least it might turn out well. He'd come up with a plan, too.

He showered and shaved. Just his face, although Ruby and Lucifer both chattered about preparing for inevitably putting out. He blew his hair dry and styled it. He went with the last outfit he'd worn on a date: jeans, a button down, and a sport coat. After a few more preparations, ones that were even more important than all the others combined, he splurged on an Uber to Menlo Park and got to the restaurant fifteen minutes early.

"I did _not_ tell you to do that," Ruby muttered to herself the whole time. Her tail was whipping back and forth and she was picking at the bases of her horns, something she only did when she was nervous. "This was all you. I hope you realize how much trouble you're gonna get both of us in, Sam. You asshole."

The restaurant was nice. It smelled good inside, and there were a lot of live plants. Sam told the hostess he was meeting somebody and followed her to a booth near the middle of the restaurant. While Ruby stressed quietly to herself, having figured out Sam was ignoring her, he pulled out his phone. He had a text from Charlie.

 _Good luck :) I know you'll do great! He's going to love you._

One corner of Sam's mouth rose. He started typing a thank-you message.

"Sam?"

Startled, he looked up. Jeans, T-shirt, jacket just barely classy enough to pass for a blazer...looked like someone had given Dean the same fashion advice Sam'd gotten. He looked exactly like his picture. Green eyes, freckles, five o'clock shadow. His voice was deep and raspy, and Sam wondered if he was a smoker even as something primal shivered deep in his stomach. Dean's angel stood stoically on his right shoulder while his demon lounged against his neck on the left, studying Sam with raised eyebrows.

A fist of tension in the middle of Sam's chest slowly loosened. He guessed he'd been a little afraid Dean wouldn't come.

"Hey," Sam said, smiling. ("Too wide," Ruby muttered, apparently back to doing her job.) "Yeah, that's me. And you're Dean, obviously."

"Yeah." Dean returned Sam's smile. He really did have great lips, Sam couldn't deny that. He slid into the booth opposite him. "Thought it was you. That, uh, hair's pretty distinctive." He gestured to his own head. "But I figured I'd better ask anyway."

Sam laughed. "It's even more distinctive right after I get up in the morning. You oughta see."

It took a second for his brain to catch up with his mouth, and realize what he'd just said, and Dean's eyebrows had already risen. Sam felt his face slowly heating up.

"That came out wrong," he said, and Dean chuckled.

"It's okay," he said. "I get what you were trying to say. I told you we'd take it slow, so...let's start with introductions." He pointed to his demon, then his angel. "You know me, but this is Crowley, and Cas."

Sam noted the nickname. He must be on good terms with his angel.

God. What would that be like?

"He's a big one, isn't he?" Crowley murmured to Dean, just loud enough for Sam to hear. He had a British accent. "Sure you can handle him?"

Dean cleared his throat and shifted, not acknowledging his demon except to growl "Cut it out" under his breath. Sam didn't say anything. It was rude to comment on someone fighting with their demon.

"This is Ruby," he said, gesturing to her. He thought for a second about what she'd look like to Dean. Tight-fitting jeans, a leather jacket over a plaid shirt. A long, slender tail tipped with a fleshy arrow and miniature Malificent horns just above her temples. Dean's was clearly a crossroads demon, with all the red; how obvious was it that Sam's was focused on temptation?

Dean nodded, then his eyes moved to Sam's right shoulder. His empty right shoulder. His eyebrows rose again.

"Yeah, I, uh, don't have an angel," Sam explained. Ruby's tail smacked into the side of his neck as it lashed anxiously.

"Seriously?" Dean asked. He didn't look put off; mostly just surprised. Sam was encouraged. "What's that like?"

"Dean, it's probably not polite to ask about it," warned Dean's angel, Castiel. His voice was even more gravelly than his bearer's.

"No, it's okay," Sam assured. "I don't mind." He'd rehearsed this the whole way to the restaurant. He was going all out. "It's not as bad as you'd think. Probably the worst part is other people's reactions."

"Ah," Dean said, wagging his finger like he'd just figured something out. "So that's why you wanna get into the kinda law you do."

"Yeah. Exactly." Sam smiled, relieved.

"I'm guessing this is the condition you mentioned," Dean said. "To be honest, wish you would've just told me right off the bat...or I would've figured it out from looking at your profile picture. Probably could've saved you a lot of stress."

"You're right," Sam agreed, mostly regretting that he hadn't thought of this earlier in the week. "I'm sorry. I just can't ever be sure what someone's gonna think, and I didn't know you very well yet. So."

"You still don't," Dean pointed out. "But let's fix that."

A waitress swung by then, apologizing for the wait. It was Friday night, so of course they were busy. Ignoring Ruby advocating for whiskey, Sam ordered a dark beer. Dean grinned at him, complimented his taste, and got the same.

Things went great for the first hour or so. The beer was excellent, cold and not too foamy, and the conversation warmed up quickly. Dean was just as easy to talk to in person as he was via text message, and Sam almost immediately noticed a trait that hadn't come through over the phone: he was funny. And he knew it, which wasn't a bad thing. He had dozens of stories about his customers and coworkers that had Sam laughing into his menu and hoping he wasn't being too loud. Dean's angel and demon seemed okay, too. He was clearly more fond of Castiel than Crowley, but he bantered easily with both of them.

It didn't start going wrong until their food was delivered.

Dean had ordered a steak, mashed potatoes on the side. After assuring him he could pay for himself, Sam had gotten a steak wrap with a side salad. Everything looked excellent.

"So where you from originally?" Dean asked, in the process of sawing his steak to pieces.

"Kansas," Sam replied.

"Hey, another Midwesterner. South Dakota, here." That didn't surprise Sam. He'd been able to hear a bit of a twang all night.

"Actually, Kansas and the Dakotas are in the Heartland," Sam corrected. Ruby wanted him to, and he went along with it, since this seemed minimally harmful. "The Midwest is closer to the Great Lakes."

Dean laughed. "Anybody ever told you you're kind of a nerd, Sam?"

His tone was light, even affectionate. Sam was two beers in and starting to feel loose and relaxed. He was enjoying himself in public for the first time in years. Smiling, he opened his mouth to answer, but the lights flickered before he could.

"Huh." Dean glanced up. "Wonder what that was."

"Power surge?" Sam suggested.

"No." Crowley had been sitting or laying on Dean's shoulder all night, but now he was standing, face hardened into a serious expression. "Something's wrong." He looked at Dean. "Get out. We were right, this was a mistake."

"Okay, I'm gonna need you to shut up. 'Cause I'm not gonna - " Dean had twisted his head in order to glare at Crowley, but suddenly he paused, a funny look crossing his face. "D'you...smell sulfur?"

"It's not me," Ruby and Crowley said at the same time.

"Maybe somebody else's demon is acting up." Sam pushed past the insecurity that Crowley's use of "we" had planted in him.

"Doesn't smell quite like a demon, though." Dean frowned. Around them, people were murmuring, noticing the scent and checking with their demons. "Actually, I think I smell burned hair, too."

"Or feathers," Ruby hissed to Sam. He swallowed, throat tacky with dryness.

"Dean," Castiel warned all of a sudden, tone low and urgent. Then the lights went out, plunging the restaurant into darkness.

There were surprised gasps all around, one almost-scream, some forced laughter. Angels, who already glowed ambiently anyway, brightened their halos, and phones came out. Castiel's wings were spread aggressively, shining like oil in his blue aura, and he'd moved closer to Dean. When Sam pulled out his own phone, he saw he had another text from Charlie, but didn't bother reading it.

He felt nauseous, and it had nothing to do with the smell of sulfur.

"Sorry, folks," the hostess called, sounding embarrassed. A large flashlight _click_ ed on in the general area her voice was coming from. "We're gonna get this fixed as soon as possible. For now, we'll be coming around to every table with candles so you can keep enjoying your meal."

"Crap," Dean muttered, looking around. "Sorry, Sam. This has never happened before. And jeez, tonight of all nights..."

"It's okay." Sam choked out a laugh, and it sounded exactly as unnatural as he'd been afraid it would. "I mean, candles are romantic, right?"

Dean glanced at him, then focused in, concern settling onto his features. "Shit, are you okay?" Sam groaned internally. He must look as sick and anxious on the outside as he felt on the inside. "You afraid of the dark or something?"

"No, Dean." Castiel. He was looking at Sam now, too, and his eyes were the same bright, intense shade of blue as his halo. "You know I don't often say this, but Crowley's right." The demon's tail curled in a self-satisfied way. "Something's wrong."

It was probably less than a second after he'd stopped talking that there was an explosion of light and flames in the middle of their table. They didn't actually burn, but they were bright enough to hurt Sam's eyes. As he flung up his arms to shield his face, he heard Dean swear. There were shouts and screams from what sounded like the entire restaurant.

"I _told_ you!" Ruby shrieked, latching onto Sam's ear to steady herself. Her claws dug into the sensitive skin on the back of it.

When the blinding light and roaring fire faded away, the smell of sulfur and burning feathers had gotten strong enough that Sam could hear people gagging. He slowly lowered his arms, blinking green blobs out of his vision. There was a burn mark shaped vaguely like a five-pointed star charred into the glossy wood of the table, the top point aimed directly at Sam. It was illuminated by a pulsating red glow that dimly lit most of the restaurant now. The source of the glow was standing smack-dab in the middle of the star: Lucifer, in all his glory.

His halo, glowing crimson, was shattered, the broken pieces orbiting his head in a rough circle like the remnants of a pulverized moon. It'd been like that for as long as Sam had known him. His wings were an unhealthy gray with ash and neglect, only the barest hint of blinding white showing through. Even now, he was shedding damaged, burned feathers. Under his patchy primaries, the tips of sharp, leathery, bat-like things, the color of a scab on an infected wound, peeked out. His eyes were glowing as brightly as his halo, and he grinned up at Sam with a set of sharp teeth.

"Hey, there, Sammy," he greeted. "Looks like I made it in time for your date. I'm so glad."

"Is that an angel?" Dean asked quietly. Sam felt his jaw twitch, but it wasn't him Dean was asking.

"I believe it's Sam's angel." Castiel was unnaturally calm. "Lucifer."

Lucifer turned to face Dean, wings hunched like a vulture's. Sam felt instant dread, wanted to snatch him off the table before he could say anything to him, but as hard as he tried, he couldn't make himself move.

"Hello, brother." Castiel's halo dimmed by a fraction when Lucifer addressed him. "Haven't seen you in a while...I'm gonna assume Dad gave you to another screwup, since he's just the _best_ at everything. Including matching angels and humans." He half-turned to Sam, still smiling, and gestured grandly at him. "I mean, just look at me and Sam here. He's the most perfect fit I've ever had, and I've been with some of the best. The Baron de Rais, General Ishii, little Teddy Cowell - ooh, he was fun. Turned out great. But Sammy could probably tell you more about him than I could, even. He's _obsessed_ with serial killers. Right?" Lucifer glanced at Sam as if for confirmation, then continued in a conspiratorial tone. "He could rattle 'em off by name and kill count right now, if you wanted. Just one of his many talents."

Out of the corner of his eye, Sam could see a waiter who'd stopped dead not far from their booth, both hands full of candles. Everyone around them was staring, apparently just as frozen as Sam was. Dean's eyes were fixed on Lucifer, green irises reflecting the red of his halo-light. He was clearly tense, jaw clenched and shoulders squared. Crowley, practically hiding behind his neck, was whispering wildly into his left ear. Castiel wasn't trying to talk to him at all, which some small, detached part of Sam found odd.

"What the hell's going on?" Dean's voice was low and quiet as he shifted his focus from Lucifer to Sam. Ruby, trembling against Sam's ear, had no suggestions. He was on his own.

"I - "

"You said you didn't have an angel."

"Dean, I - "

"He _did_?" Lucifer demanded, sounding incredulous. He let out a shrill, humorless laugh. "Seriously. Wow, I'm not even surprised. Do you want to hear what actually happened? What he did to me?" He raised his voice, to the point where the whole goddamn restaurant could probably make him out. "Before he came out here hoping to beg a BJ or two outta you and that luscious mouth of yours, he poured a circle of holy oil, popped me in the middle, set it on fire, and _left_." He turned slowly, hands spread, looking appealingly around at the other angels nearby. "All my brothers and sisters. How 'bout you tell us how bad it hurts an angel to be separated from their bearer?" None of them answered, besides whispering in their people's ears. They must have advised them to leave, given that more than one person slowly rose and started inching towards the door. "Okay, in a word: a _lot_. And we're not talking some bullshit emotional pain. This is actual, physical agony." Lucifer shot a poisonous glare at Sam. "When I suggested you start hurting small animals to work through all those issues of yours, I didn't mean me, Samsquatch."

Sam's hands, clasped tightly in his lap under the table, trembled. He was sucking in air, but it felt like his lungs had shrunk. Every pair of eyes on him was like a physical weight, pressing down on his skin hard enough to bruise. He was being crushed into his seat. Dean, the waitstaff, the other customers, people trying to earn a living or have a nice evening who'd had their Friday night interrupted by his very own personal nightmare...he knew what they were thinking. He could feel the way they were looking at him. Like a freak. A monster.

Twenty-five years of getting this reaction and it still hurt. Wasn't like he could blame them, though. Every single bearer of Lucifer ever recorded, from Cain all the way down, had delighted in slaughter and suffering.

What could Sam possibly say to offset hundreds of thousands of years of historical precedent?

"Run," Ruby breathed into his ear. "Get out of here."

For once, her advice was excellent. It even had the added benefit of unfreezing Sam.

"S-sorry," he stuttered. To Dean, to everyone else in the building, even to Lucifer, because this whole thing had been a colossal fuckup from the very beginning. Then he practically launched himself out of the booth and sprinted for the door, knocking over a ponytail palm in the process. The realization that he was lucky it didn't trip him flashed through his mind.

He heard a mocking laugh, then a couple of flaps, and then a pair of tiny boots landed on his shoulder right before he burst through the doors. He didn't even have to look to know it was Lucifer. Returning to him like he always had and always would.


	5. Chapter 5

Outside, night was rapidly falling. The sun had set, leaving behind only an orange glow in the west. The Bay Area wasn't L.A. by a long shot, so stars were already coming out, but not as many as in Lawrence.

Though the heat of the day was bleeding off, it still wasn't anywhere near cool enough to be running in a jacket. Sam kept it on anyway as he sprinted through the parking lot, not wanting to slow down for even the few seconds it'd take him to shrug out of it. He didn't want to explain himself to Dean, or to the restaurant. He had no idea how much damage Lucifer had managed to do to their lighting and electrical systems. He passed a car that he recognized as Dean's near the edge of the lot. Sounding like she was on autopilot, Ruby suggested he steal it, and Sam clenched both hands into fists to keep from grabbing and throwing her.

He was a runner, had been since middle school. He'd probably be cross-country if he ever tried out for his school's track team, which Charlie kept urging him to, but he'd learned his lesson about that way before he'd ever hit college (high-school teams weren't too friendly towards the bearers of notorious angels and demons...especially in Kansas). Sam took back roads and alleys, darted into parks, putting as much distance between himself and the restaurant as he could. Lucifer's red glow kept him from tripping over anything, and he ignored his burning legs and lungs (not to mention the gallons of sweat inside his shirt) until it felt like he was about to collapse.

Sam brought himself to a stop with a few long, hard steps, then doubled over, hands squeezing his bent knees as he sucked wind. His hair hung in his face, wet and stringy as sweat dripped off it onto the asphalt. He closed his eyes and willed himself not to throw up. It was hot, Lucifer had showed up before he could take even one bite of his food, he'd had a few beers...he wasn't surprised.

The nausea was slowly starting to ebb when Lucifer, who'd climbed onto the back of Sam's neck, spoke up.

"Okay, so, honestly." His tone was conversational. "What'd you think you were gonna gain from this? Leaving me trapped in your bedroom and telling Cocksucker Lips back there you didn't have an angel." Sam focused on breathing, but Lucifer's voice made its way in anyway. "Not like you could've kept the charade up for more than one night even if I hadn't been able to bust out because of the whole, y'know. Archangel thing." Sam moved over to a tree by the side of the road, putting a hand on it as he straightened up. "Guess you could've gotten some casual sex. But I can't really see you being into that. Be too hard on all your poor widdle _feelings_."

"I don't know," Sam mumbled. Lucifer moved back onto his shoulder. _Just ignore him_ echoed through his head, the advice practically everyone had given him for most of his life. He really didn't know what he'd thought he was doing. Or what he'd thought the outcome would be. Still gasping for breath, he realized, "I'm so stupid."

"You definitely are," Ruby confirmed happily. "You're a huge, raging moron. This whole plan of yours might've actually been the dumbest thing you've ever done, which is just...wow, Sam. Really saying something." To Lucifer, she added, "I am so, _so_ sorry, sir. I never said anything to him about doing that to you. You know I wouldn't. It's such an honor to work with you."

"Relax." Sam finally peeled his sport coat off himself. Ruby and Lucifer stepped from it onto his shirt. "I know it wasn't you. Also, ick. Maybe tone down the ass-kissing, all right?"

Sam slipped a hand into his pocket, planning on calling Charlie to come get him. It'd be humiliating, but at least she'd be more sympathetic than Ruby and Lucifer. That pocket was empty, though. With mounting dread, Sam searched the rest of them, including the ones in his jacket. When he was finished, he was forced to admit that not only had he left his phone all the way back at the restaurant, but his wallet, too. Either that or they'd fallen out while he was running.

Served him right, honestly. He hoped his wallet was at the restaurant, in the booth. So Dean could use his cards to pay before he cancelled them. It was probably the least he owed him after this disaster of a date.

"Uh oh," Ruby said in a sing-song voice, having noticed his predicament. She was sure in a great mood now. "Looks like somebody's gonna be walking home."

"Jeez." When Sam looked at Lucifer, he was shaking his head. "Are you on top of things tonight or what?"

Sam looked around, at the buildings, the trees, the street signs. He knew where he was...vaguely. A long way from his apartment, thanks in part to his mad dash away from Dean. When he checked his watch, he saw that he'd spent the better part of an hour running, which explained why he felt so awful. Good thing he was wearing tennis shoes.

Even walking as fast as he could, he probably wasn't going to get home until very, very early in the morning. He couldn't remember the last time he'd stayed out that late; maybe he never had. Better get moving.

Sam's legs hurt. He knew he'd pulled muscles, pushing himself too hard with no stretching or warmup beforehand. His thighs were stinging with chafe from the denim. He had a persistent, throbbing stitch behind his left ribs, he was having a tough time catching his breath, and he still felt a little sick. His hair was a total mess and his button down, which he'd completely sweated through, stuck to him. Both Ruby and Lucifer commented on it, making noises of disgust. Unfortunately, his shirt didn't hold their focus for long.

"It's okay," Ruby comforted. She was sitting on his shoulder, gently stroking his damp, greasy hair. "If you think about it, this is actually a good thing. You know you don't really deserve to be happy. Not with another person, at least. That Dean guy seemed really nice; you don't wanna inflict yourself on somebody like that."

"Oh my Dad," Lucifer complained. "Lay off him." He put a hand on Sam's scalp and leaned his full weight (not even half a pound) on him. "Look. Kiddo. Don't listen to her. You totally _do_ deserve to be happy, and it's not like it's your fault it'll take different things for you than it does other people. You might feel like what you want is 'sick' or 'wrong' or 'illegal,' but it's my job as your angel to tell you there's nothing bad about following your natural urges." Desiccated feathers brushed the side of Sam's face. "You're gonna find someone. But no way in hell are you gonna attract them just by being yourself." He laughed. "No _way_. But there are plenty of other ways to get them, y'know. Guns, drugs, knives, heavy blows to the head...then you can do whatever you want with them. Whatever feels right. And when you're all done, I'll go ahead and walk you through ditching the body."

"I don't want _any_ of that!" Sam burst out. He didn't have a whole lot of energy to spare. He knew arguing with Lucifer was never a good idea. The words poured out of him anyway, though, like the vomit he'd been holding back a few minutes ago. "I never have! I'm not a serial killer, I'm not a psychopath, I'm not a rapist - I'm not a - a - I'm _normal_! I wanna be normal! I wanna be a lawyer, and get married, and have a house and kids and dogs. That's all I've ever wanted, my whole life." He grabbed Lucifer from his shoulder, glaring down at him in his hand. "The only thing about me that's _not_ normal is _you_. It's all your fault, you ruin everything. No wonder your father and all the other angels hate you. No wonder they won't let you back into Heaven for downtime between your bearers."

Red light flickered in Lucifer's eyes, accompanied by rage. Sam usually knew better than to mention God to him, or Heaven, but tonight hadn't been usual. Lucifer grinned, fangs on full display again. They came and went.

"Oh, you think you're normal, huh?" he asked. "I've got news for you, Sammy: according to everyone I've ever asked, dear old Dad doesn't make mistakes. He only ever gives me to the worst of the worst. Murderers, dictators, sadists. Cain's blood. So, like it or not, that includes _you_." He pointed. "You can try to run away from it. You can try and burrow down inside an apple-pie life. You can even follow Ruby's advice and try to drink it away. But I think you and me both know one simple fact: deep down inside you, there's something wrong. It's been there since day one. And it's got nothing to do with me."

Sam swallowed. The hand he had Lucifer in was trembling. His entire body was.

"You know it." Lucifer's voice had dropped to a whisper. "I'm a symptom. Not the disease. Your soul's rotten, Sam. Your dad knew it, your mom, even the fucking FBI knows it. Even if you'd somehow managed to keep me hidden away from Dean forever, he would've smelled the corruption coming off you eventually, and he would've left. Everyone's gonna leave. Either that, or they'll die."

Sam closed his hand around Lucifer, started to slowly tighten it into a fist. Just like when he'd held him out of the shot for his Fluttr picture, tiny bones shifted, and the shafts of feathers stabbed him. Lucifer started to laugh as he squeezed.

"Are you gonna try and crush me again?" he taunted. "Drown me? Freeze me? Burn me alive? Thought you grew outta that ages ago, Sammy."

Sam's trembling worsened, to the point where he probably wouldn't have been able to hold onto Lucifer even if he'd wanted to. He let out a long, slow sight, opening his fingers and dropping his hand. He lowered his head as Lucifer flew back up onto his shoulder and patted his ear consolingly.

"There you go," he praised. "Trying to kill an archangel's a waste of energy. Energy that'd be better spent on other things."

Like walking home, even though that probably wasn't what Lucifer had meant. With his sport coat tucked under one arm and his head raised just enough to see the road ahead through his hair, Sam started moving again. It was cooling off and, with sweat still clinging to his body, he was getting cold. He didn't move to put his jacket back on, though.

"You know whose fault this is?" Ruby spoke up after a while.

"Uh, mine?" Hadn't they played this game already?

"No." Ruby shook her head. "Well, partly, but mostly it's Charlie's." She knelt next to his ear and practically put her whole head inside it, her horns scratching the outer part. "She bullied you into making a Fluttr account. She made you use it. She took your phone, impersonated you, and set up a date with a guy you never wanted to meet in the first place. You're walking five miles back to your apartment with an empty stomach and pulled muscles because of her."

"Hey - yeah." When Sam looked at him, Lucifer was pointing at Ruby with both hands. "She's completely right. You never would've thought about trapping me if that ginger bitch hadn't made you do this. You didn't want to. You didn't even wanna get the stupid app, remember? You shouldn't be out here. She totally ignored what you wanted." He poked Sam with a wing. "She needs to be punished. She deserves to die. You know it, and you know it'd make you feel better."

Tempting as it was to blame how he felt right now on somebody else, and convenient a target as Charlie was, Sam just didn't have the energy to get mad again right now. Things might be different on Monday. When she asked him how the date had gone. For now, all he wanted to do was get home, crawl into bed, and stay there for the rest of the weekend.

"Just shut up," he said tiredly. "Both of you."

It was a quiet area Sam was in right now. Big houses set far back from the road, lots of trees. No sidewalks and few cars. So when one came up behind him, he heard it coming from something like a mile away. The engine was loud, a low growl. The headlights threw his shadow out twenty feet in front of him, Ruby and Lucifer stretched to the height of normal humans. He was walking with traffic, even though he knew he shouldn't, and didn't turn to look at it. At his size, he usually didn't have to worry about being mugged or anything even if they didn't see Lucifer.

Sam kind of had to turn around, though, when the car slowed to a stop behind him rather than passing. As the headlights and engine abruptly cut off, he briefly noted the glossy black paint job and hard angles. Then Dean got out.

"Run again," Ruby advised as Lucifer fluffed his wings in a threat display.

"Finally." Dean shut the door, then put his hands in his pockets. "Been looking for you all night. What are you, an Olympic sprinter or something?" He started walking towards Sam, who took a couple of automatic steps back. Dean stopped. "Whoa. Hey. You think I'm gonna hit you?"

"Sorry," Sam mumbled, ducking his head. "I'll pay you back, but I don't have any money on me right now. I left my wallet back at the restaurant."

"Yeah, I know," Dean replied. "And your phone. Don't know who Charlie is, but he's real worried about you. He, uh, 'knows you wouldn't go home with me on your own.'" Sam couldn't see Dean's face, but he watched him pull a hand out of his pocket and jab a thumb at his car. "I've got both. You want 'em back?"

Sam swallowed, looking down at his shoes and ignoring suggestions from Ruby and Lucifer. "What've I gotta do?"

" _Nothing_. Jesus. What the hell's wrong with you?" Sam flinched, and Dean paused. Sam heard Castiel talking to him but couldn't make out what he was saying. He sounded stern, and Dean sighed after a second. "Sorry. I'm really not mad at you. It's just...I know we maybe don't know each other super well yet, but dude. You've been talking to me for a week and we just spent an hour together. D'you honestly think I'm the kinda guy who'd make you suck dick to get your wallet back?"

"No," Sam admitted, even though Ruby and Lucifer wanted him to say yes. "Sorry."

"I know. You've only said so about a hundred times," Dean said dryly. They stood in silence for a moment, then he said, "C'mon, lemme give you a ride home. Get in the car."

"Oh...no." Sam shook his head. "You don't have to do that. Honest. I'm fine walking, it's not far."

"Yeah, it is," Dean stated. "I've got your license, remember? I know where you live." A pause. "That came out sounding way creepier than I wanted it to."

"I'm worse," Sam replied. "Trust me." He worried at his lower lip, looking up at Dean. "You don't wanna listen to Lucifer the whole way back to Palo Alto. And I'm sure your car's really nice, and I'm super gross right now, so - "

"Think about it like this," Dean interrupted. Blue and red light overlapped on the gravel between them. "You owe me an explanation, at least. Right? So just give it to me while I'm taking you back to your place."

Sam hesitated, but not for long. It wasn't like he had all that much to lose. And Dean was right. "All right." He went ahead and got in the car.


	6. Chapter 6

Lucifer looked around appreciatively once Sam was in Dean's car.

"Ooh, nice," he said approvingly. "Leather seats." Directly to Sam, he said, "Imagine slashing these up."

"He does anything to my seats, I'm pulling his wings off," Dean warned as he slid in behind the wheel. "Just gonna tell you that now."

"That won't do much good," Castiel informed him.

"Yeah, they grow back," Sam agreed.

Dean looked at him with a raised eyebrow, illuminated by Castiel's blue glow, then cleared his throat and reached into the back. He handed Sam his wallet and phone on top of a Styrofoam takeout container. "Here you go."

"What's this?" Sam popped the lid even as he asked.

"Your dinner." Dean started the car up and pulled back onto the road. "Figured you'd be hungry."

For some reason, Sam's throat was tight. He swallowed past it and put his phone and his wallet back in his pockets. "Thanks. I...I am."

"Don't let him eat in the car," Crowley said to Dean. "Look at him. He'll get it everywhere - bad enough you let him in here in the first place."

"I doubt it," Castiel countered. "And even if he does, it won't be difficult to clean up. Let him eat. I imagine his blood sugar's dangerously low by now."

"You can go ahead and eat," Dean declared graciously. Sam fought a smirk and picked up half of his wrap.

"Thanks." He took a bite, keeping it over the open box so he wouldn't make a mess. His mouth cramped as saliva flooded it. He couldn't tell if the food was just that good, if he was just super hungry, or both. It didn't really matter. After he swallowed, he looked over at Dean and tentatively asked, "Why were you even looking for me?"

Dean sighed through his nose, then answered the question, eyes fixed on the dark road. "I'll be honest, Sam. I was real tempted to chalk this whole night up to another shitty Fluttr date, mail your crap back to you, and never talk to you again. Crowley was really rooting for that option."

"Would've been the right thing to do," Dean's demon noted, tone reasonable. "Not to mention the easy one."

"Cas wasn't about to let me do that, though," Dean continued. "Wouldn't shut up about how bad you probably needed someone right now, how I wouldn't be able to sleep if I just left you out here, how good the two of us hit it off at first." He shook his head. "He can be really obnoxious when he wants to be, so you can thank him for this lift."

Sam looked at Castiel, who was standing on Dean's shoulder with his wings neatly folded, looking at him. He took another bite of his wrap before saying anything.

"That's funny," he commented when his mouth was empty. "Usually angels will tell their people to stay as far away from me as possible. Most demons do, too."

"I'm not afraid of my elder brother." There was no pride in Castiel's voice; it was just a statement of fact.

"I am," Crowley pitched in. "Any rational being would be. Dean should be."

"As I explained earlier, he's got nothing to fear from Lucifer. He's bound by the conventions of a guardian angel: as much damage as he can do to the environment, he can't hurt or influence anybody but his host. And Sam's no threat to any of us."

Sam's throat felt tight again, even as Crowley asked Castiel, "Sure you can guarantee that?"

"I gotta ask. You're not actually a serial killer, are you?" That was Dean. Sam had just taken a bite of his food, so he shook his head vehemently as he chewed. Lucifer snorted.

"Oh, he wishes."

"No," Sam said firmly once he'd swallowed. "Definitely not. I've never been arrested. Never even broken the law." He considered, then added, "The FBI does track Lucifer's bearers, though. A lot of other law enforcement agencies do, too, after the last one." He pulled a slice of tomato free from his wrap and ate it. "It's kind of like being on parole. I have to tell the police if I'm moving or planning to leave the state, and they check in every so often."

"That doesn't seem right," Dean said. "You haven't done anything."

"It's not all that uncommon," Sam pointed out. "It's the same for a lot of demons. Azazel, Alastair, Lilith, Abaddon..."

"Well, same goes for them," Dean declared. His hands had tightened on the wheel at the list of demon names, but Sam figured anybody's would. "Is that one of the things you're gonna do once you pass the bar?"

Sam didn't bother explaining (again) that you didn't automatically get to start practicing whatever kind of law you wanted as soon as you got your license, even though Ruby wanted him to. He popped the last bite of the first half of his wrap into his mouth and talked around it. "Yeah, maybe. I don't know. I can kind of see where they're coming from, wanting to keep track of us."

"Bullshit." Dean squeezed the wheel even harder. "It's profiling. Discrimination, like you said. You're already saddled with the worst possible angel, last thing you need's to be treated like a criminal while you're dealing with him."

"Wow," Lucifer said loudly. "Rude."

"Plus, you obviously hate him," Dean went on. "I barely know you, but I can already tell you're not gonna do anything he tells you to, and never have."

"Thank you." Sam wasn't sure what else to say to that. He picked at his salad, looking away from Dean.

"Really wish you would've just told me to begin with." Dean sighed through his nose. "I get why you didn't. I guess. But you could've saved both of us a whole lotta grief."

"You 'guess' you get why I didn't tell you my angel's Lucifer?" Sam parroted, looking at Dean again. "Even the FBI think I'm gonna snap someday. People cross the street to avoid me when they see him, no one at work will talk to me, my boss gave me my own private office even though I'm only a paralegal so nobody'd have to be around me. It doesn't matter who I am, only who he is. I've known that since I was about four."

"So you planted him in a circle of holy fire back at your apartment and told me you just never got an angel," Dean summarized. "I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say he's probably had that one coming for years, but first of all, I think you broke California's angel-cruelty laws tonight."

"Yes!" Lucifer threw his hands out towards Dean in gratification. "Thank you!"

"Second of all, it was dumb." Dean ignored him. "You wanted me to see you and not him, I totally understand that, but you owe it to anybody you meet on that stupid app to be up-front with them before you go out. You don't use a picture of yourself from ten years ago, you tell 'em if you've got kids, and you let 'em know who's on your shoulders. That's why I've got Crowley on my profile." He pointed at him. "Lots of people aren't comfortable dating somebody with a crossroads demon, and that's totally fine. I don't wanna be with anybody like that, anyway."

"Honestly, the prejudice makes no sense whatsoever." Crowley sounded like he'd calmed down some, but he wasn't even visible behind Dean's head, as far away from Lucifer as he could get. "Dean's an excellent negotiator because of me."

"You don't have to stick Lucifer on your page. I don't even wanna think about the kinds of matches you're gonna wind up with if that happened, but you gotta at least _tell_ people, Sam." Dean really didn't sound angry. More frustrated than anything. Still, Sam hunched his shoulders and dropped his head, focus back on his takeout box again. "When you were being all weird about getting dinner, you told me you had a condition. That would've been the perfect opportunity to let me know what was up."

"I'm sorry," Sam mumbled, not even sure Dean could hear him over the engine. "You just seemed so great and I...I wanted it to work out so bad. I didn't mean to fuck everything up."

"You didn't fuck everything up," Dean said, in a voice almost as quiet as Sam's. "But you're not like most people on Fluttr, are you? No matter what that shitty angel of yours says. You don't want something short-term. If you're looking to build a relationship, you really wanna start out on a lie that big? If Lucifer wasn't an archangel and a ring of fire could actually hold him, would you just keep him in your closet for the rest of your life?"

"I honestly don't know what I was thinking, okay?" Sam said with miserable exasperation. "I already explained that to both of them." He waved a hand at his shoulders. "I'm just stupid. I always make everything way harder than it needs to be, and that's on me, not Lucifer. I can shoot myself in the foot just fine on my own."

"Okay. Stop. Right now." Dean's voice was commanding. When Sam looked at him, he fixed him with a steady gaze. "That's him talking, ain't it? And I don't wanna listen to him. I wanna listen to you. 'Cause you're smart." He shook a finger at Sam. "You're in law school. You landed a scholarship to Stanford, and even I know that's impressive. And you're gonna change the world, with what you wanna do." He rubbed a hand over his mouth, turning his attention back to the road. "You're not stupid, Sam. Like I said, you just did something stupid."

There was silence in the car for a while after that. Sam took the opportunity to focus on eating. He'd finished the other half of his wrap and most of his salad before Dean spoke again. He snorted softly, shaking his head, and asked, "How'd you even know about the holy oil thing?"

"I read about it," Sam replied. "I've been looking for tips on how to deal with Lucifer my whole life."

"Dad forbid you just listen to me," Lucifer muttered sulkily.

"I was reading a lot of old books by the time I was in middle school," Sam went on, doing his best not to miss a beat. "In a lot of ways, they knew more about angels and demons back in the middle ages than we do now. More about how to get around them, at least. The book I read portrayed the ring of fire as basically a last resort. Tonight's the first time I ever used it." He shrugged, closing his takeout container and setting it aside. "I've always got plenty of holy oil, though. My parents took me to a doctor when I was really little and that was his main suggestion: squirt Lucifer with oil when he starts acting up."

"Like some kind of animal," Lucifer lamented. "Like a cat. You get what I'm talking about, don't you?" He appealed to Castiel. "It's so demeaning, and it's hell on my wings."

"Sounds like you knew about it before," Sam said to Dean. "How'd you find out about it? Doubt you were looking for a way to control your angel." He glanced at Castiel. "He...seems pretty great, from what I've seen."

Dean chuckled dryly. "Yeah, that's 'cause he's been on his best behavior tonight. He's a dick with wings sometimes, trust me." Castiel looked at him, but otherwise didn't react. "So, yeah. Holy fire." He reached up to rub at the back of his neck, dislodging an annoyed Crowley. "I don't mean to give you my life story or anything, but my dad's a mechanic, like me. He owns a scrapyard back in Sioux Falls. His real passion's angels and demons, though. He does all kinds of research on super obscure stuff, and I guess I've picked up a lot of it."

"Really?" Sam shifted in his seat some, so that he was facing Dean better. "That's pretty awesome. Did you get all of it from him, or have you kept doing research on your own?"

"Little bit of both." Dean didn't seem very interested in talking about this. "Some stuff's kinda interesting, but it's not a great hobby. Pretty nerdy. And nobody else is really into it, so it ain't like I can talk about it with anybody but my dad."

"Well, I'm pretty nerdy - " Sam began.

"Very," Ruby cut in. "Extremely. Embarrassingly. Practically to the point of social disability."

" - and I think it's awesome," Sam finished. "And I'm into it, for obvious reasons. You can talk to me about it any time you want." Not that he was sure they'd be talking at all in the future. He still didn't know if Dean still wanted to try and make things work with him, or if he'd rather cut off all contact once he got him home. It really sounded like he was still interested, but Sam wouldn't blame him at all if he didn't want to get involved.

Castiel turned and began to speak into Dean's ear. Sam couldn't make out what he was saying, but after a minute, Dean started nodding. "Yeah. Okay...that might be a good idea."

He looked at Sam. "So, I've got a few tricks that might make things a little easier on you, even with Satan riding around on your shoulder. Ones that aren't illegal and won't risk burning your whole building down. Cas thinks I oughta share 'em with you."

"Bullshit," Lucifer said loudly. "Don't listen to him, Sam, he's a _mechanic_ , not a demonologist. He's just trying to get you on the hook; he's got a crossroads demon. Their king! He doesn't have anything that'd work on - "

Lucifer's warnings trailed off into muffled outrage as Sam reached up and (gently) closed a hand around him, putting a thumb over his mouth. He knew he was going to get bit, but he didn't care.

"That - that'd be great," Sam told Dean, feeling a genuine smile spreading across his face. "I mean, if it's not too much trouble. You sure it's okay?"

"I wouldn't've offered if it wasn't," Dean pointed out. "You gotta stop being so shocked about somebody being nice to you." There was some whispering from his left side, then he added, "Crowley thinks I oughta tell you I'm really not a con man. 'Unfortunately.'"

"I figured that one out on my own," Sam assured him. "Speaking of profiling, it must suck to have a recognizable type of demon. At least Ruby's garden-variety." Ruby snorted.

"It definitely can," Dean acknowledged, turning to look at Sam, "but I'm pretty sure you've got it way worse than me on that front. No offense."

"Yeah, none taken." They'd reached Palo Alto proper. Sam recognized the buildings, and that they were getting close to where he lived. "Did you...memorize my address?"

"Well, the street," Dean admitted. "I know where it is." He nodded to the mostly-empty takeout box on the seat between them. "You feel better now that you've eaten?"

"Way better."

"Good. I'm glad." Dean turned onto Sam's street, commenting, "I know it was traumatic for pretty much everybody when Lucifer showed up - almost positive we're both getting banned from that place, by the way - but one good thing came out of it."

"What?" Sam asked with half a smirk, not at all surprised about the restaurant.

"Well, when you just had a demon and she was a girl, I wasn't really sure what you were doing on a date with me," Dean said, tipping his head a little. "Finding out you actually do have an angel, and he's definitely a guy, was kind of a relief."

"Oh," Sam said, blinking. That hadn't even occurred to him, despite the fact that he noticed other people's angels and demons automatically. It'd jumped right out at him that Dean's were both obviously male. "I'm sorry. Guess I should've said something to let you know I wasn't, like, experimenting with you...why didn't you just ask?"

"'Cause I knew it'd be rude and Cas'd already got on my case for that once." Dean slowed in front of a building. "This it?"

"Nah. One down." Sam gestured, having to take his hand off Lucifer to do it. He had bitten him, multiple times, but he hadn't broken the skin.

"You're only _relieved_ 'cause you don't know what turns him on yet," Lucifer spat at Dean as soon as he could. Sam was glad when Dean just ignored him. Didn't even ask Sam about it.

He was expecting Dean to just drop him off in front of his building. And he was also still half expecting to never hear from him again after tonight, despite how understanding and just plain _nice_ he'd been on the way home. Excitement and anxiety clashed in Sam's stomach when Dean pulled around the side to where the parking spaces were.

"What'd I tell you?" Ruby whispered harshly into his ear. "Crossroads demon. He did something for you and now he thinks you owe him."

"Dean," Castiel said mildly as Dean killed the engine, "it'd be wise to explain your reasoning to Sam."

"Right." Dean glanced at him, embarrassed. "Uh, I was thinking I'd show you those angel tricks tonight. 'Cause no offense, but you look like you haven't been sleeping all that great, which I'm guessing is because of him, and I might be able to help with that. But if you'd rather do it some - "

"No, that'd be great. Tonight's great." Sam cut him off without thinking, on impulse. Neither Ruby nor Lucifer had told him to. "How 'bout you come on up?"

If he lived to regret this, at least it was his own decision.


	7. Chapter 7

"Wow," Dean commented, following Sam in once he'd turned on the lights. Sam turned to see him looking around, hands in his pockets. "It's...clean."

"It's okay, you can say tiny." Sam dropped his Styrofoam box in the kitchenette's trash can, putting his phone, wallet, keys, and sport coat on the counter. "I'm sure your place is way nicer."

"Nah, not really." Dean looked at Sam with a smirk. "If you want, you can come see it sometime. I guarantee you'll be underwhelmed."

Sam's heartbeat quickened at the same time both Castiel and Ruby spoke up.

"Creep. Of course only creeps would be interested in you."

"You're moving too fast, Dean. You're going to scare him off. This isn't at all like you; what's going on?"

Sam and Dean stared at each other in silence across the entrance of Sam's apartment. The same embarrassment Sam was feeling was plain on Dean's face. Lucifer stifled a loud, snorting laugh with one of his wings.

"Sorry," the two of them said in unison. Dean laughed, following it up with, "Jinx. You owe me a beer."

Sam cracked a smile despite himself and headed for his fridge. "I can make good on that right now, if you want." As soon as he had the cold bottle in his hand, though, something occurred to him. "Hey. I probably should've asked this before I ever even got in your car, but...you had a few beers back at the restaurant, too. You sure you were good to drive?"

"Well, like you said, hardly matters now, but yeah," Dean replied calmly, accepting the bottle. "I hold my liquor just fine, don't worry."

"Ooh, yes, _very_ high tolerance," Crowley agreed. He was pressed against Dean's neck, clearly not comfortable in Sam's apartment. "Dean's a heavy drinker. You might even say alcoholic. Functioning, but just barely. Another thing he got from Daddy."

"Jesus!" Dean glared at his demon. "Shut up, okay? Cut it out."

"Oh, you need to know more about that," Ruby instructed Sam. "Ask him. Push."

Sam just cleared his throat quietly, aware that he was in no shape to call Dean out on something his demon said, and turned to grab a bottle opener. If Dean actually did have a drinking problem, he'd deal with it if or when it became an issue. Before he could even open the drawer, Dean loudly busted the cap off his beer using the edge of the counter.

"Dude!" Sam exclaimed, whirling around to face him. "I was gonna get you a bottle opener."

"Sorry." Dean was blushing faintly under his spray of freckles. "Forgot I wasn't at home."

Despite himself, Sam started to laugh, even as Lucifer sarcastically muttered, "How classy." He grabbed a beer of his own and made a show of prying the top off with the aforementioned bottle opener. It came out sounding playful when he commented, "I'd hate to see the countertops at your place."

"They're fine!" Dean defended. "And so's yours." He rubbed the section he'd used. "Laminate's tough."

"Make it up to him anyway," Castiel advised.

"Yeah, all right." Dean took a pull from his beer, grimacing a little. Sam knew it was cheap and tasted like it. "You're in school, right? You got any of those - " He snapped his fingers. "Page markers? Y'know, like the little sticky notes."

"Tons." Nursing his own beer, Sam headed into his bedroom, aware Dean was following him. He tried not to focus on the fact that this was their first date and they were in his bedroom together as he pulled open one of his desk drawers and started sifting through his strictly-organized office supplies. He heard Dean stifle a snicker behind him and Castiel order "Don't laugh," and glanced over his shoulder at both of them. "What?"

"Nothing," Dean said. "It's just that you're every bit as type-A as I thought you were."

"Why would you think that?" Wasn't like it was an unfair assessment or anything, but Sam wasn't sure what he'd done to give himself away.

"Who uses perfect spelling and punctuation in freaking texts?"

"Speaking of texts." Sam handed Dean a pad of neon page markers, wondering idly what he needed them for, then went back into the kitchen to get his phone. "I oughta let Charlie know I'm okay."

"Yeah...who's that Charlie guy, anyway?" Dean called after him. "You two must be close. He was kinda freaking out. Not that I read your texts or anything, they just kept popping up on the screen."

"Girl, actually, and she's my friend. We work at the same firm." Sam woke his phone up. He had a new deluge of texts from Charlie. In the last few, she threatened to track his phone, then noted he was in his apartment. "She's the one who made me make a Fluttr account...and go out with you."

"Don't bother texting her back." Ruby was looking down at his phone, reading through the messages with him. "This whole thing is her fault. Let her stew all weekend."

"Guess I owe her a thank-you, then...even if tonight's been kinda weird for both of us." Dean joined Sam in the kitchen as he typed out a response to Charlie, ignoring Ruby.

 _I'm fine. Date was interesting, to say the least. I fucked up big time, but it seems like it turned out okay. I'll fill you in later in person. Thanks for looking out._

He set his phone down, then looked at Dean, who had a page marker stuck to the tip of one of his fingers. There was something written on it, but Sam couldn't tell what it was. "Okay. You wanna grab your little douchebag for me real quick?"

Lucifer laughed loudly. "Oh, this oughta be good. Lemme guess: this is one of your so-called 'tricks' for dealing with me? Gimme a break. You don't know shit about angels." Nevertheless, he tried to take off when Sam reached for him. His damaged wings made him slow, though, so Sam was able to grab him. He struggled and cursed, spitting and trying to bite.

"Don't do this," Crowley whispered to Dean. Sam was close enough to hear him. "You do _not_ want to make an enemy of the Devil."

Dean ignored him, going in under Lucifer's halo and firmly pressing the sticky part of the marker to his sandy hair. Lucifer recoiled, screwing up his face and squeezing his eyes shut, but Dean got it on there anyway. There was some kind of Chinese or Japanese character scribbled on it in pen.

Sam watched as Lucifer glared at Dean and opened his mouth to spew venom at him. Nothing came out, though. He looked as shocked as Sam felt.

"Paper seal," Dean explained when Sam looked at him. "They used to use 'em all the time in Japan. Usually for demons, but they work on angels, too. This one's for silence." He gestured to Lucifer. "Won't last forever. It's on the wrong kinda paper and he is an archangel, so he'll be able to get it off eventually. But that should take a few hours." He made eye contact with Sam. "Aim's to help you sleep."

There were a lot of things Sam wanted to say, but he couldn't seem to get any of them past his mouth. He let go of Lucifer, who immediately flew down to the counter in front of him and started trying to get the seal off his head. Every time he made to grab it, though, his hands couldn't even get close, like there was a magnetic field around it. That just pissed him off more. Watching his angel stalk furiously up and down the counter, silently screaming and making every rude gesture in the book, all while a strip of neon pink paper flapped from his head, Sam was torn between laughing and (yet again) tearing up. Crying wasn't usually his go-to reaction, but it'd been one long emotional rollercoaster of a night. He finally tore his focus away from Lucifer and looked at Dean again. "How come you're being so nice to me?"

Dean had been looking at his handiwork with a proud expression on his face, but now he glanced at Sam. "What d'you mean?"

"You drove around for an hour looking for me," Sam began, "brought me my food, gave me a ride home, and did... _that_ for me." He waved a hand at Lucifer, who was still having a meltdown. "Which is a big deal. I don't think he's ever been quiet for this long without me covering his mouth." He shook his head. "It's not that I'm not grateful, but we met online, and we've only been on one date. Which didn't go very well, I might add. So..." He spread his hands helplessly.

"That's it; be skeptical," Ruby encouraged. "No one could ever like you this much, especially after he just met you."

Dean took a swig of his beer, then sighed. "I _do_ like you, though. A lot. And your demon's almost bitchier than mine, which is saying something." Crowley sniffed. "I _like_ you, Sam. I think you're hot and smart and funny and I told you Cas pushed me to go the extra mile with you. I just wanna help you out with your angel problem and get to know you better. I don't want anything from you, if that's what you're worried about. And, honestly, I'm starting to get a little tired of explaining myself."

Sam drew in a deep breath and let it out slowly. "I know; I'm sorry. I'll try really hard to be a little less paranoid." He waited a beat, then admitted, "I like you, too." Then his brain finally caught up with his ears and he squinted at Dean. "You think I'm hot?"

"'Course I do," Dean replied easily. They were still standing close to each other. "Don't run into a ton of guys taller than me, and I kinda like that. Plus I think I already mentioned I like your hair." Very hesitantly, he brought a hand up. Sam stood perfectly still and let him cup his jaw with it. It was warm, and heavily callused. "Look, Sam, I see you, okay? Not Lucifer. And I like what I see. I definitely get how that might be hard for you to believe, with two demons, basically..."

"Right, call him a demon," Crowley muttered sarcastically. "That'll put you back in his good graces."

Sam wasn't sure which one of them leaned in first while Crowley was talking, him or Dean. Maybe they both did it at the same time. It didn't really matter, because either way, they were kissing. Dean's lips were every bit as soft as they looked, and he tasted like steak and mediocre beer. Sam hadn't done this in years, but it came back to him quickly, and Dean was patient enough to let him figure it out.

Mercifully, their respective angels and demons were quiet through the whole kiss. Several kisses, actually, since they broke to gasp in air a few times then went right back together. Sam was feeling a little lightheaded by the time Dean pulled away for real, but he thought he might like it.

Dean's blush was back, green eyes gemstone-bright and mouth slightly open as he panted. Sam felt his dick begin to stir interestedly, and swallowed, suddenly needing to tell Dean how good he looked right now. Unfortunately, Crowley was the first one to speak.

"If you're going to insist on doing this," he began after a heavy sigh, "you should at least milk it for all you can. His self esteem's lower than the bottom of the Marianas Trench. You can do whatever you want with him after that little song and dance."

Dean's expression shifted into one of annoyance and disgust as he reached up to grab Crowley off his shoulder. Sam was about to say something, but a massive, jaw-cracking yawn beat him to the punch.

"I oughta go," Dean said, holding his struggling demon in one hand. "It's getting late, and you should get some sleep. I'll text you the instructions for making that seal, and then maybe we can do this again next week." He half-smiled. "Minus your angel crashing the party and you literally running yourself ragged."

"All right...yeah. That'd be nice." Sam definitely needed to get to bed. As Dean downed the rest of his beer, tossed his bottle, and turned to let himself out, though, the unbearable reality of sleeping alone hit Sam like a semi truck. Not to mention the unbearable reality of being alone with Lucifer when he finally got that seal off. Sam reached out and grabbed Dean's arm. "W-wait."

"What the hell're you doing?" Ruby demanded as Dean looked at him questioningly.

Sam screwed up his courage and followed through on the impulse. "I...I'd like you to stay."

Dean raised an eyebrow. "You sure about that?"

"Yes," Sam replied, much more confidently than he felt.

"You don't have to - " Dean cut himself off as Castiel started whispering into his ear, and his face slowly cleared. "Yeah, okay. We can give that a shot." He scratched his angel under the chin with one finger, and Sam heard Castiel's deep, gravelly purr. Putting Crowley back on his left shoulder, Dean told Sam, "I'll go ahead and stay the night if you really want me to, but you're gonna be calling the shots. I ain't gonna do anything you don't tell me to."

"He won't stick to that," Ruby predicted. "Make him leave."

"Okay," Sam said. To Dean, not Ruby. He slowly finished his own beer, watching Lucifer's ongoing tantrum on the counter slowly wind down as he thought about what he wanted. To go to bed, obviously, and keep Dean next to him. But he should really shower first. Should he make Dean wait in the bedroom? Or...?

He spoke before he could overthink it, like he usually did. Practically everything that'd gone right for him so far had only happened because he'd acted on impulse. Because he hadn't given Ruby or Lucifer a chance to talk. Because he hadn't sat there and run through all the reasons it was a bad idea and ways it could go wrong. "I need to take a shower. And I want you to come with me."

"Well, look at that," Crowley commented as Dean just blinked at Sam. "He's moving even faster than you were."

"Okay, if that's what you really want," Dean agreed after a second. Sam could tell he was excited and trying really hard to push it down, and he felt bad. It seemed like Sam was teasing him. He kind of wanted to have sex, he was definitely interested, he just wasn't sure it was a good idea. "Lead the way."

"It's what I want," Sam confirmed, then, talking to both himself and Dean, added, "We'll just see what happens."

"Whatever happens," Ruby growled into his ear, "you deserve it."


	8. Chapter 8

As Sam left the kitchenette, Lucifer landed on his shoulder again. The heels of his boots hit hard and his wing struck Sam's ear. He was clearly still mad, but he couldn't do much damage. Not even if he decided to start biting.

Sam took Dean through the bedroom and into the bathroom. Everything in there was just as neat as the rest of the apartment, probably cementing Sam's type-A personality even further in Dean's head. He didn't have a tub, but he did have a double-wide shower stall. Hopefully they'd both fit.

Seeing Dean examine his toothbrush, toothpaste, mouthwash, and floss, all laid out in a tight row on the counter, Sam realized something.

"Sorry," he apologized. "You didn't bring anything with you." He had both hands on the top button of his shirt but hadn't made a move to undo it yet, anxiety beginning to creep in. "I shouldn't've asked you to stay the night."

"I'll survive," Dean assured him with a smile. "If you really want me to stay with you, I'm not gonna leave."

He transferred Crowley from his shoulder to the bathroom counter. Castiel fluttered down to join him, then Dean shrugged out of his jacket and pulled his shirt off, clearly not anywhere near as self-conscious as Sam was. As he let them both drop to the floor, Sam's cock perked up again at the sight of his pecs and biceps, both large and shapely. More freckles on his chest, stomach, and arms, small, dark nipples, a tuft of dark golden hair right in the middle of his chest...there was almost too much to look at. Maybe his stomach wasn't perfectly flat, but with everything else he had going for him, who cared?

Dean chuckled. His voice had dropped some and Sam hoped that it was because he was horny. He scanned his groin, looking for signs, but a semi was hard to spot in loose jeans.

"Been a while since anybody looked at me like that."

"Been a while for me, period," Sam admitted, before sucking it up. He undid his buttons, one by one, and then finally shrugged out of his shirt. Lucifer took off, and Ruby climbed onto the top of his head.

Sam knew he wasn't bad-looking. He wasn't as heavily-muscled as Dean, but he ran regularly and managed to ignore Ruby when it came to food and drink most of the time, so he was lean. But it was still a relief to see the look of appreciation on Dean's face as he looked him up and down.

"Y'know what they call moles?" Dean asked, taking half a step forward to close the distance between them in the tiny bathroom. He put a hand out, paused, seemed to take Sam not pulling away as permission, and touched one on his ribcage. "Angel kisses."

Sam snorted a little. "Even if that were true, my angel _bites_."

Dean laughed out loud at that. "Yeah, I bet he does." He stepped back again, kicking off his shoes, then started in on his jeans. Sam took the opportunity to turn the water on, since it usually took a couple minutes to get hot.

Showering together didn't go quite like Sam had wanted it to. The spray from the shower head couldn't cover both of them at once, so no matter how they stood, at least one of them was going to be cold. Shuffling around barefoot in the narrow space was awkward, and they had an audience in the form of their angels and demons, all sitting in a row on top of the curtain rod. Every time Sam looked up at them, Lucifer was glaring murderously at Castiel, Ruby was fuming, Castiel was slowly opening and closing his wings and looking mildly displeased about what the humidity was doing to his feathers, and Crowley seemed to be wishing he was anywhere else.

Dean was inches away from Sam, though, and he was touching him, and Sam was feeling brave enough to touch him back, all the skin-on-skin contact going straight to his groin. He was fully hard and had been for a while, although he didn't know about Dean. He was too shy to look and see.

They were laughing at the awkwardness of the whole situation as they washed their hair, both using Sam's shampoo, helping each other.

"I could've told you the shower thing's complicated," Dean commented. He had way less hair than Sam, so he'd already finished soaping it up. He stuck his head under the water, eyes squeezed shut. "Unless you've got a really awesome shower. But you seemed pretty dead set on it."

"You've fucked people with awesome showers." Crowley spoke up from the rod. " _In_ their awesome showers. You should tell him about your past conquests."

"I'm having fun." Hands buried in the huge sudsy mess that was his hair right now, Sam acted like Crowley hadn't said anything. "Even though I'm literally freezing my ass off...move over." He made to get under the spray, and Dean obligingly made room for him. Their hips and thighs pressed together, becoming slick with soap as Sam rinsed. He kept talking, even though that meant he had to spit every time a bubble snuck into his mouth, which wasn't at all attractive. Maybe it was just because he was so tired, but what he was feeling right now spilled easily out of him. "I feel...really good when I'm with you, Dean. Really comfortable. Not that I've been 'with' you all that long, but still."

Dean chuckled, low and throaty, and put an arm around Sam's waist. Sam automatically leaned into him.

"Don't go getting all sappy on me," he murmured into Sam's ear. It felt weird to have another human being doing that. "I think we've had more than enough chick-flick moments for tonight."

Sam's hair was free of shampoo now. He opened his eyes, turned his head, and kissed Dean again. From Dean's reaction, he'd been expecting it. He turned his body so he could wrap his other arm around Sam. Sam felt something hard and thick resting against his stomach. He pushed Dean back against the tiled wall with a sudden burst of dominance that'd come from god-only-knew-where. Dean purred approvingly into his mouth.

"Easy there, tiger," he whispered against Sam's swollen lips when they had to pull apart. His rough hands ran slowly down Sam's back to cup his ass, and Sam shivered.

He looked down at their cocks, side by side between their stomachs. They were honestly pretty close in length and girth, which surprised him. His was way darker, though, and Dean's had more of a curve to it. Dean's hair was also shorter. It wasn't expertly groomed or anything, but it was clear he'd made an effort. Sam couldn't help him being a little embarrassed of his own untamed bush, also darker than Dean's. It hadn't even occurred to him.

With difficulty, Sam tore his eyes away and lifted them back up to Dean's. His own arms had found their way around Dean's torso. For a few seconds, they just held each other, eyes locked. It didn't feel awkward. Sam was shocked by all the yellows and blues in Dean's green eyes. There was no sound besides the water. Of course it didn't take long for the peanut gallery to chime in.

"Go ahead. Fuck him raw...on the first date." Crowley.

"Kick him out. It's not too late for that." Ruby.

"Take care of him, Dean." Castiel.

And from Lucifer, mercifully, nothing but angry flapping.

Dean smirked, and Sam couldn't tell if he was embarrassed or completely tuning all of them out.

"You've kinda been looking at my mouth all night," he murmured, and Sam felt himself blush. All night? "It's okay, I get it." He took one hand off Sam's ass and brought it around his hip. The closer his fingertips got to the base of Sam's cock, the more Sam's lower stomach twitched. His breath stuttered into him as Dean dragged his fingers through his pubic hair, then cupped his shaft in his palm. He moved slowly, like he was giving Sam ample opportunity to pull away or tell him to stop. "Wanna see what it can do with this monster?"

Dean began to drop to his knees, but Sam put a hand on his shoulder to stop him. It took some effort to turn down his first blowjob in years.

"Good call," Ruby said approvingly. "You've got no idea what he's got."

"Usually, Ruby'd prefer I act like a hooker with a nightly quota," Sam told Dean. He was surprised by how husky his voice came out. "But tonight, all she's wanted is for me to stay away from you. That makes me think you must be good for me." Feeling brave, he kissed Dean again, then let their foreheads rest against each other as he put a hand between their bodies. "You've done so much for me tonight. I wanna make you feel good."

He lifted his head so he could see to grab his mostly-full bottle of lube off the corner shelving. He pushed his dick against Dean's, entire body shuddering at the sensation, then wrapped his free hand around both of them at once. He barely managed it, despite how big his hands were. He popped open the cap on the lube with his thumb, upended the bottle, and let the contents drizzle down between his and Dean's stomachs. It mixed with the precome already leaking out of both of them. Dean groaned, long and low, in the very back of his throat, and Sam had to focus on all kinds of unsexy things to keep himself from coming. Most of them involved Lucifer.

"Like I said." Dean's voice was a raspy whisper. "Whatever you wanna do."

They came together in yet another kiss as, slowly, Sam started moving his hand up and down their lengths. Dean cupped the back of his head with one hand and put the other at the very base of his spine, pulling him closer. Sam started picking up the pace, falling back on rhythms and patterns he knew he liked, and Dean opened his mouth to him. Sam nipped his plump bottom lip, and literally felt a wave of pleasure travel through him.

Sam rocked his hips in time with the movement of his hand. There wasn't a ton of friction, so maybe he'd used too much lube, but there wasn't a lot he could do about that now. Besides, it wasn't like it was going to take much to get him over the edge. He could already feel his climax building in the pit of his stomach, balls tightening and pins and needles running up his spine. Dean began to push back against him, thrusting on his own as Sam jerked them both off at once. He pulled him down into another deep, open-mouthed kiss.

"I want you," Dean murmured a few long seconds later, as they both sucked in the steamy air. His lips brushed against Sam's. "All of you. The whole thing."

Sam grunted, then moaned, the pitch going up at the end. He shook against Dean as come gushed out of him, splattering his hand and both of their cocks. He felt it between their chests, too.

It wasn't a mind-blowing orgasm by any means. He'd definitely had better, and it only lasted a few seconds. But any orgasm was a good one, and it came with a tremendous sense of release. Partially because it was literally the first one he'd ever had without commentary from Lucifer.

Coming left Sam fuzzy-headed and shaky-legged. He wasn't about to leave Dean blue-balled, though. He managed another couple of quick jerks, despite his rapidly-softening dick balking at the contact, and then Dean was finishing with a couple of short, sharp cries. Sam let his hand drop and leaned heavily against him, water, lube, and come mixing between their bodies, and Dean braced himself against the wall in order to keep them both upright.

He'd fisted his hand in Sam's freshly-washed hair as he came, pulling on his scalp, but now he slowly relaxed. His fingers slowly trailed down Sam's spine to join the others near the base, almost like he was petting him. It felt nice.

"You screwed up, Sam," Ruby said accusingly. "I hope you regret what you just did."

"Shu - " A yawn interrupted Sam. "Shut up." _God_ , did Dean smell good. Sam's chin was resting on his shoulder, so his nose was right next to his neck. There was Sam's shampoo, of course, and whatever generic cologne Dean'd put on tonight, but also machine oil and leather and the faintest hint of what Sam thought might be vanilla. Plus sulfur, because it was the left side of his neck.

"You tell her," Dean mumbled.

"I suppose it could've been worse," Crowley conceded. It sounded like he was talking to Castiel. "He didn't _literally_ stick his dick in crazy."

"Be quiet," Castiel murmured.

It took a few minutes for Sam and Dean both to muster the strength to get cleaned up, and even then, it was a rush job. Sam was definitely going to have to do a more thorough scrubbing tomorrow and use actual body wash, but he didn't mind. He'd been dead on his feet even before he'd come, and that'd knocked him flat on his ass. Metaphorically speaking.

They toweled off. Dean pulled his boxers and T-shirt back on, and Sam grabbed fresh ones of his own. He practically fell into bed once he was dressed, hair still damp and body aching from how hard he'd pushed himself earlier. Ruby and Lucifer, who'd just gotten back on his shoulders, relocated to the headboard. Lucifer seemed to have given up on his seal for the moment, which probably meant he was plotting, but Sam couldn't bring himself to worry about that right now.

The mattress dipped as Dean climbed onto it. He hesitated before laying down.

"How d'you want me to - ?"

"Stay close, but give him space," was Castiel's suggestion.

"Please. Sharing a bed's nowhere near all it's cracked up to be, and you definitely don't want to wind up opening this particular can of worms any further than you have already. Let's go home," was Crowley's.

"However you want," was Sam's, delivered into his pillow.

Dean waited a beat, then stated, "So, in the manliest way possible. You wanna be big or little spoon?"

"Uh..." Sam raised his head a little, turning it in order to squint at Dean in the darkness. "...little?"

Dean immediately settled down behind him, kicking his legs under the covers and draping one arm loosely over Sam. As he scooted in close, he warned, "If I get your hair in my mouth, you're in trouble."

That coaxed a soft laugh out of Sam. "Keep your mouth away from my hair, then." He didn't think he'd ever actually, literally slept with someone, and it felt good. Weird, but good. He could hear Dean breathing, feel his arms and legs against him, and the warmth and safety more than made up for not having as much space in the bed.

"Rub against him," Ruby urged from the headboard. "Tease him, then see what he does. Should bring his real personality right out."

Sam heard Dean lift his head off the pillow. "Want me to seal her, too?"

"Don't," Crowley warned. "You've done enough damage."

"It's okay." Sam yawned again. "She'll be quiet soon, and I'm already gonna have Lucifer super pissed at me."

Dean lowered his head, arm tightening almost protectively around Sam. Sam had just closed his eyes when, voice quiet, Dean said, "If you ignore pretty much everything besides his caste, it's pretty awesome you've got an archangel."

Sam snorted.

"I'm serious! Only super important people get archangels. The president's got Michael, and look at all the stuff he's done. That chef...don't remember her name right now, but the one who's super into world hunger? The Nobel Peace Prize one? She's got Gabriel." Dean gave him a squeeze. "You're gonna change the world, I know it. In a good way."

Sam realized he was smiling despite himself. "You still want me, then?"

"Hell, yeah," Dean told him. "I'm not going anywhere."

"I know what you're thinking, Dean," Castiel began gravely above them, "but it's much too soon to tell him you love him."

Dean tensed, and Crowley snickered. Sam looked up at the headboard, easily able to pick out the red glow of Lucifer's halo and glaring eyes. He waited to feel fear, dread, anxiety, but none of them came. He moved his arm, placing his hand over Dean's.

"Good." He closed his eyes. "I feel the same way."


End file.
